So Easily I Fall

Not once in my life I thought something so unbelievable could happen, not once I thought I could fall in love with a girl, not once I thought of it possible. But I found myself loving who was probably gonna be the only woman of my life.
She was so perfect I was speechless. She really was perfect in every way, her face, her smile, her hands. The most gorgeous creature I'd ever had the privilege to look at, and she was equally beautiful on the inside. She had the ability to make me laugh, make me smile, when I was down; she brought happiness in a dark moment of my life and I was only willing to do the same for her. I wanted to protect her from everything, be the one she went to for help, make her see that life can be beautiful as well, and just like that, love could too.
I loved everything about her, because when you fall in love, you learn to appreciate every strenght and every flaw of that person. Everything she did was perfect to me, the way she was just seemed incredibly surreal to me. I never had the courage to tell her how I felt about her, I knew I had less than zero chances with her. My love for her could never be reciprocated, most humans are not capable to feel such strong emotions.
I loved her, first as a friend, but that turned so easily into something more, something I couldn't explain, something I didn't want to feel because it was beautiful but it hurt at the same time. I knew if I told her, I would lose her forever, as a lover, as a friend, and I would have to keep living with just memories of her, of us; I couldn't let that happen.
I blamed myself, for falling in love with her. I fell for her so easily, because so easily I fall and can never get back up. My only strenght was her, knowing I would wake up to a text from her, going to sleep after talking to her was the only thing that could make me rest peacefully. And I knew that those dreams I had, those dreams that made me so hopeful, dreams of me, and her, holding hands, staring in each other's eyes as to confess our love through just a look, her crying on my shoulder, drying her tears with the back of my hand, those dreams could never come true. But I will never leave her, I will never leave the thought of her. I will wait, for whatever is going to happen. Make my way through the struggles, I will choose to let love be a strenght, and not a weekness, because after all it is just all my fault, that so easily I fall.

-July 29, 2019