I want to kill myself.
That's the first thought that comes to mind when depression hits. I'm not sure why I want to kill myself, but I do know that I do not want to live anymore.
My head is spinning as I write this, but I don't know what else to do. I just want to die.
Sometimes I wonder if I should just take the car and speed off a bridge or something. Other times, I wonder if I should just overdose and get it over with. My mind aches. I don't know what I should do. It's not that I hate my life, I don't. I just don't see the point of living anymore. I don't see how it can get any better and I don't see how I'll ever be happy like this. Nothing has ever changed towards the good and I doubt anything will. I have this mug that was gifted to me which says "life is beautiful." I've placed it right in-front of me as a reminder but I just want to smash it into pieces because it's a lie. Nothing about life is beautiful. At all.
