I've loved you before- could I do it again?

chapter 1: Waking Up Alone

Mike isn't sure where he is. 

Hell, he's been in and out all day. He remembers seeing white sheets and hearing the beeping of a heart rate monitor, but he ignores it because he's just so tired. 

But now Mike feels his eyes fully opening as he slips back into consciousness.

 The first thing he noticed was the familiar phenol smell of a hospital. The way it made him feel safe and clean as he felt the blankets covering him in the now cold room. He heard the steady beat of the heart monitor as his eyes scanned to room, taking it in as he tried to remember how he got here, and that's when Mike noticed that he didn't remember anything.

He couldn't remember what happened before this, only small things. He remembers the voices and faint memories of his friends, but he can't recall any of their names. To be completely honest, the only name he remembers is his own, remembering it instantly as he saw the cards and pieces of paper on his side table all addressed or relating to him. 

Mike sat up slowly, breathing deeply and trying to remember, and after about a minute he gave up, letting his eyes drift over to his side table. He had what looked like 20 or so cards, most of them from family. But he noticed a select few that seemed to be addressed casually, he assumed these were from his friends.

Mike reached over and grabbed a clipboard from the table. There was a small stack of papers attached to it which made it just heavy enough to have to pick it up with two hands. His eyes scanned across the clipboard and he realized that this must be his patient information. 

Name: Micheal Elliot Wheeler

Date of birth: September 14th, 1971

Age: 22

Time of check in: August 25th, 1992

Mike paused before looking over to the calendar in the room. November 5th, 1993. Mike's eyes widened.

He had been in the hospital for over a year and couldn't remember anything. He looked back over at the clipboard, quickly flipping through all the papers before stumbling upon the page he was looking for. 

Condition: stable

Ailment: overdose

Notes: Michael was discovered by his roommate Will after overdosing on 3 bottles of sleeping pills in his apartment. He was estimated to be out for 30 minutes before Will called 911.

Mike froze. Realization once again came barreling at him, a tear falling down his face. He had attempted suicide. 

Mike felt nothing and yet everything in that one moment. He didn't feel like he was reading about himself, more like he was reading about something that happened to an old friend. He didn't remember it. Any of it. Not Will, not his apartment, not being suicidal, the only thing he had was his name. 

Mike read over page after page of check ups and tests, all with the same results. 

He had been in a coma for over a year. 

---

-2 months earlier-

God, El felt hopeless.

What was even the point of bringing her boyfriend flowers when he was in a coma for almost a year now? 

El sighed and looked down at the note in her hands. 

I miss you. Without you life seems so meaningless. I love you and I hope you wake up soon.