Love Radar

ending starter

i have read a lot of sad stories. i never thought i have a gloomy life, not until i enrol in college. well, gloomy isn't the right word, maybe i would say boring or either way i can call it as ordinary. true, thinking about it again, i have an ordinary life since i was born so as everybody around me. should i be grateful for having such a ordinary life? i think not. oh, i haven't introduced my name yet. my name is rosè. people often mistakenly called me rose but it's rosè. small matter anyway.

as for now i'm in second year of my bachelor degree in english. meh. as u can see it's pretty boring isn't it? yes it is. i don't live far from home therefore i go home every weekend. i thought i was gonna live far from home to start new but no. maybe new wasn't existed for me. i ain't bold but i have my opinions. i can't rule a group because i'm scared of getting ignored. i want to be a writer, announcer or even a reporter. hah, such a bold move for me to have such ambitions right. i can't talk in front of people because of my anxiety but my dreams say the opposite.

enough about me, i have three friends, jennie, lisa and jisoo. we live in the same house tho i don't live far from home i still pay the rent so i can live with my girls. we would have small talks every night. i appreciate their existences in my life. jennie, the adventurous, jisoo, the mood maker and lisa, the confident ones. me, the awkward ones. regardless of our differences we are still able to find the complementary in our friendship.

"rosè, are u going home this week" asks jennie

"no, nobody's home. why?"

"assa, let's go to club this week!!"

"yahoooo! finally we can bring her!!!"

"are u guys crazy? i'm shy!"

"are u CRAZY? are u going to be shy until u die? we only live once so we shall enjoy things before it ends" says jisoo why putting her arm on my shoulder.

"but—"

"you don't have to worry! you have us! we will guide u to the heaven!!!!" screams lisa in excitement.

D-day

"guys, i'm not sure if im doing the right thing. my mom will kill me if she finds out i'm going to the club"

"don't tell her then" says jennie while she drags my hand into the club "see, look at them enjoying their lives! you should too! life isn't all about k-drama rosè! you should enjoy things like this tooo on weekend"

"trueeeeee now let's go to PARTY" screams lisa and jisoo.

and now, three of them grooving to the music with men on the stage but i just sit right in the corner. i look at the watch every ten seconds hoping time will fly faster.

as i observe everyone, i keep having this one though "maybe it is my fault that my life haven't changed" "maybe it is my fault that i don't have an easygoing personality for being timid" as my inner thoughts waving in my heart, someone comes and taps my back,

"rosè? why are you here alone?"

"jun? no no i'm not alone i'm with them" pointing to three musketeers. i am shocked to see him after a long time!

"ah, i see! how have u been? wah things must have changed to see you in club. you used to be so shy!"

i am STILL shy anyways

"ah no they pushed me to come here. hey, why are back in korea? i thought you are studying in russia?"

"ah i did but i quit. their food doesn't suit my taste" says jun.

"hahaha your jokes are still funny as ever. so where are u going to enrol your degree?"

"seoul national university, i'm taking medic. oh! to think of it, you are going to be my senior right?!" he says while shouting his excitement.

there. there. the beginning of my rollercoaster in life.