Said I love you but I lied

Chapter 3

"I'm fine now Jake. Thanks." I tapped him to assure him that I am okay now. I know I would not get over seeing Marky for awhile but I know that this is something I have to get through. So I asked Jake to stand beside me again and ushered him to the Corbins but only saw Marky.

As I was getting nearer, I saw a slight glint of anger in his eyes which quickly disappeared as I got near him. I started to think about how his life had been although I knew almost everything because my parents always have news about him and I basically stalked him in all ways possible. I read all the news about him, bought all magazines with articles or interviews on him and created fake accounts to follow him on social media. But all my thoughts flew out the window when I saw him up close. My breath stopped as my feelings all came flooding back like a fast train without breaks. All our moments spent together came rushing back to me along with my deeply kept longing and love for him along with the most special memories we had together. Nothing could have prepared me for this man who I have dreamed about in the last ten years and yet I knew in my heart, could never forgive me for leaving him. Overwhelmed by my feelings and the sudden need to catch my breath, I looked away. 

Jake and Marky did the awkward man hug and tapping of the back that is a common greeting for them even before.

I heard Jake as him how he was but what really surprised me was when my bother started calling him Xander. I was confused but can't really ask and just reminded myself to ask my brother later. 

I started sneaking glances and noticed how much more good looking he has become, how his body has become a lot more toned and much taller he is now. He has outgrown his boyish charm and has become the living definition of devilishly handsome. I knew I was not the only who noticed because I can feel eyes all around us. Women's eyes. 

I noticed that Marky was very serious and just cracked a smile here and there but nothing more than that which seems odd since he has always been a fun-loving person. I guess people change. I would have loved to hear him laugh again.

"Jake, long time man." Marky said. His voice has changed too. Huskier now. More like the kind you call bedroom voice. Sweet and intoxicating. I notice everything about him. He must have noticed me staring.

"Franchesca, how are you?" He said in a monotone. Not even coming near me or shaking my hand. He even said my full name which struck me cause never in our fifteen years has he called me that. So this is where we had come to. Just pure civility. As much as it pains me to not hug him or kiss him after ten years, I know I don't have any right to question his actions.

"Hi Marky. I'm good, thank you. " I smiled, gathered all my strength and looked into his eyes. I wanted to ask so many questions but I can't seem to be able to formulate a sentence. I saw a flash of something I couldn't understand. Hatred and... longing? And it was gone. I can only see his tight eyes that conveys his anger which was what I expected. Perhaps, the longing emotion was only what I wanted to see.

He and Jake started chatting so I just stood there awkwardly not really listening. Most of it are business-related or about the latest clubs in town. Not really my point of interest so I started to leave to look for Uncle Chris and Aunt Sylvie. I hadn't seen them except for the visit three years ago which was when they had a holiday because Marky took over the company so his dad can finally retire.

I started looking for them which gave me enough time to get over the meeting with Marky. I just have enough time to cover my uneasiness before the dinner begins. I know that the Corbins will sit in the same table as us so I really have to be calm by then.

I saw a lot of people that I haven't seen for ten years and some people I'm sure I haven't met before. I couldn't find the pair so I started toward the path I am so used to retreating when I get overwhelmed with my family's social gatherings. I was able to escape to dad's library before anyone can find me. And there I started thinking again.