The lovers that never could

The morning after

Everything that had happened that night was a blur.  I couldn't recall enough information to tell anyone really. I don't think anyone's story could even compare to mine. I mean seeing what I saw, what happened that night, it's something no one ever thinks they will go through. My only question was, what really happened? How did my life go from having the best family, the best life, to a jolting stop and a waterfall of emotions. How did I lose the one person that I could relate to the most? Could I of stopped it all? Was it my fault? All these thoughts rushed through my head that night. I was pretty must restless. I mean the press wasn't helping. They were very dedicated to hear my side, so I gave it to them. 

The next morning I woke up to the smell of something devine. Pancakes. My favorite kind too. It's not the bad batter or the bad baking sheets and everything like normal. They had blueberries...and a hint of honey? Yes. It smells like nothing i've ever smelt before. Heaven. I slowly opened my eyes to Jackson walking into the room with the pancakes. He had said a few words but they didn't register in my brain. He walks over to the table side right next to his bed. It's not very big but it hold the tray. He sees that I don't plan on getting up anytime soon to eat so he brings the food to where I was laying in the middle of the floor. He smiles at me and I faintly hear a 'good morning'. I stare at him emotionless. He puts the pancakes down right besides me and sits down. It smells good but after awhile it's so enticing I must have a bite, so I dig in. 

After my second pancake I push it away and my sore throat manages to get out 'thank you'. Jack ended up telling me that he got up a bit early so he could make me breakfast. Such a good..good...well, to be fair we never established what we were. We knew we always liked each other, and we acted like a couple, but nothing was ever said about it. Not that I needed it to be, but knowing at least what the relationship is, it's nice. After sitting there for at least five minutes, I decide to weakly get up from my blanket bed and walk to the bathroom. 

My back hurt from sleeping on the ground and my head from crying so much. Jackson really did his best in keeping me comfortable. I mean he does so much. I decide to change into clothes that his mom laid out on the toilet seat for me with a note saying "Here are some clothes for you to wear for today. Sorry I couldn't pick out the prettiest ones, but I tried". I put them on and fix my hair by brushing it with a hair brush I assumed to be Sasha's. I walk out of the bathroom and Jackson walks past and backtracks looking at me realizing that I got up and walked to the bathroom alone. He tries to offer help but I deny it as I want to be able to somewhat get through everything. Basically my life has fallen into shambles. Something I never figured would happen. And I don't know how to ever recover from this tragedy. 

This is just all a dream and I will wake up from this...right? Right. I need to slap myself out of this. This just can't be happening. Why can't I go back in time? What did I do to deserve this? I do everything right. I'm so good. I never tried to lead this to happen and now this is all my fault. I can't believe I did this. I can't believe this is all because of me. Wait..am I crying? No! My makeup! *sigh* I need makeup wipes anyway. I never took off my makeup from yesterday. Ah. That feels better. I feel refreshed. But I don't understand how this could all happen so fast..