Avengers oneshots & incorrect quotes

New friendships

Guardians of the galaxy was about to leave the Earth with Thor. Thor and Peter Quill were arguing about being the leader of the group but Nebula's mind was bothered with other topic.

"Break this, boys. I need to tell you something.", Nebula shouted.

"What's up, blue psychopath?", Quill asked.

Nebula ignored him and said, "I'm staying here."

"What? Why?", Thor asked anxiously.

"Rhodey wasn't okay last time I saw him... Due to obvious reasons... We spent together 5 years protecting the Earth and became good partners. I think he needs support for some time..."

"Who is Rhodey?", Peter whispered squinting.

"Stark's best friend...", Thor answered.

"Okay, we'll pick you up, when we find Gamora.", Peter said.

***

A few weeks later:

Nebula and Rhodey were sitting in one of the rooms in the Avengers headquarters. Nebula was showing him photos of their crew on the screen and introducing them to him.

"This guy. He's from Earth. Peter Quill. Remember him?"

"That idiot, who was dancing on Morag?"

"Exactly. He likes cussing."

"Captain Rogers would kick his ass for it.", Rhodey chuckled.

"Not only that he's an idiot, he's also so stupid. His plans always suck. If not my sister and the fox, he would die."

"What about this fat guy?"

"Drax. He's a real weirdo. I've never seen a creature more weird than him."

"What did he do?"

"Once he was standing in one place for an hour and watched my sister and that whiskered moron kissing. Then he said that he learned to stand extremely quiet, so no one could see him."

"Great method to creep."

Suddenly Thor appeared in the room with a guy in chains near him.

"Thor?", Rhodey exclaimed standing up from the chair.

"Loki?", Nebula asked suspiciously coming closer to the guests.

"Rhodey?", Thor said.

"Hasn't roll call ended yet?", Loki said with displeased voice.

"Loki came from another reality, so I decided to put chains on him. I found him in the space on one of the planets."

"I was living a great life there until you came up!", Loki shouted. Then he turned his face to see the guys in the room.

"Nebula? What are you doing here? Don't say you became friends with this dumbasses."

"Old friend Loki... Good to see you too."

"Are you friends? But how?", Rhodes asked rising an eyebrow.

"I worked for Thanos and we met there. When Thanos tortured us, we were helping each other. Then we became great friends.", Loki smiled.

"You and having friends. Impossible.", Thor exclaimed looking at Loki.

"Maybe it's time you put off these chains, dear brother?"

Thor put off chains from Loki. Rhodey was looking at Nebula and Loki with a smirk and then he asked, "Guys, I'm not sure if you were just friends..."

"What? No! She's not my type. She's never attracted me sexually. I see her only as a best friend."

"Yes, he's never found me beautiful.", Nebula said pointing at Loki and looking at Rhodes.

"I find you beautiful! My true color is blue too, don't forget. It's you, who's calling me «white like a dead man»!"

"And you called me the blue piranha!"

"You don't even know what it is!"

"It's a fish with sharp teeth! I'm not dumb!"

"You're dumb, if you're friends with these dumbs!"

"Are you envious? Because I have a lot of cool friends! And you're just like a lonely spaceship without a pilot!"

"What are you hinting at? That I am off my rocker?"

"Yes!"

During all this time Thor and Rhodey were looking at each other with questioning look, not getting what was going on.

"Who's saying that, psycho assassin?!"

"I am assassin?"

"Yes!"

"You almost killed your own race, idiot!"

"Okay, guys, stop arguing.", Rhodes said.

"Shut up!", they both shouted at Rhodey.

"So, that's what you call friendship?", Thor asked.

"Yes!", they both said angrily.

Rhodes and Thor left them alone in the room and went to meet Dr. Banner.

A/N: As bonus: