If I Could Hold You (Kiribaku Soulmate AU)

Everybody Dreams

 Before I start lemme just say I'm so sorry my upload schedule is so wack... I've really been just horrible at uploading recently. I want that to change and I'm working on it but it gets difficult for me. I want you all to know If I don't upload on a fanfic for awhile it doesn't mean I'm giving up on it. It means I just need a break from it and I will get back to it as soon as I can. I love all my readers so much, feel free to dm me if you want to ask me anything I'll link my discord at the end of this. 

I'm just going through a lot rn... I try to smile for you all and my discord but life tends to always get me down in the dumps. I've decided it's not healthy for me to seek happiness from other people and it needs to come from myself. I shouldn't love until I've learned to love myself. I shouldn't rely on anyone for love or happiness... I just wish love came easier and it was more difficult to lose. Maybe then I'd be with someone who would make it a bit easier to love myself. Cause i'm getting kinda sick of people pointing out my flaws.

With that random vent, I'll stop the A/N now. Warning this gets very angsty and sad. Of course, as always, fluff and smut await. But nothing's ever easy in the beginning. 

--Bakugo's POV--

Everyone has a soulmate. 

We're bond by faith, by love, and by trust. No ones ever had faith in me. No one's ever loved me, and you can bet your sorry ass no ones ever trusted me. 

I don't blame them... I'm an asshole. Like an overwhelming asshole. I hurt everyone on purpose. It's not like I can fucking blame it on anyone. No one else control's my actions. It's me making a conscious decision to be an asshole.

And I don't choose to stop.

I could blame it on my soulmate... but no matter how many letters of hate I've written out and crumpled up I know it's not his fault.

He.

My only clue.

Once you turn 18 your soulmate is supposed to come to you in a dream. After that, you share dreams. 

Beautiful right? It sounds magical and wonderful. Imagine gazing into the eyes of the one person meant for you, the one person who actually trusts you and cares for you.

But all I can ever do is imagine.

Why?

Because on my 18th birthday he didn't show up. Well to be clear he was there. He just didn't show up. All I saw was a dark figure. 

Every night I run to him in my dreams, I reach out for him only to hear a quiet whisper.

"Bakugo..?"

Then the sound of beeping as I awake in the middle of the night in a cold sweat. Every day I get closer to him but every day he strays further.

His voice.

It sounded as if someone had taken a dozen voices and scrunched them together to form a not so fitting puzzle. Sometimes I'll imagine him speaking in my head only to hear a faintly familiar voice shrouded by the shouts and cries of other people.

When the dreams started I was a mess, as if I wasn't a mess before. With us being attacked by the league of villains. 

Kirishima had been put in the hospital. The only person who I could even consider a friend was dying and I was too scared to go to him. It was the final year of UA so when it ended I left and cut all contacts with my past classmates.

The thought of him being injured ruined me.

And when the dreams got worse I lashed out at everyone. Even passersbys on the streets. I'd glare them down and heaven forbid they bump into me, then we'd have a real problem.