BTS one shots ( taekook/vkook/kookv )

claudia

"don't ask but I need you to hide this chicken in your room and bark or scream or do something when it starts to make a sound, okay, cool, here you go" jungkook hurriedly said, mumbling the last words and thrusting a chicken, a big orange chicken, that was probably too shocked to try to escape, into tae's arms

He was too dumbfounded to react, his eyes were without a doubt double their size, as if they weren't big enough and he can feel his mouth hanging open inviting flies in.

His boyfriend, his sweet sweet boyfriend that was batshit crazy sometime just entered their vacation house running , a chicken under his arm, asked him to hide it in his room as if it was no big deal and was now trying jump out of the living room's window but it was too small for his big muscular frame.

He knew he needed to say something, preferably to ask what the fuck is going on but he was frozen in shock.

"fuck, I need to get out of here or that old creepy bird loving fucker is going to find me and yes I'm using a lot of fucks and I don't give a fuck right now because we're on vacation and my balls might be in danger her, I don't want that and you definitely don't want that so help me out love please" jungkook was frantic now, his eyes searching for an exist his feet pacing across the room, his arms tugging the sleeves of his black shirt that clung to his chest beautifully, showing every single one of his mouthwatering muscles

Okay tae, snap out of this, this is not the time to start ogling your boyfriend who might be on the verge of having a breakdown.

His brain started working gain, trying to connect the dots and to form a coherent sentence and to not look like an idiot useless stick standing in the middle of the room holding a squirming bird in hand

"what?.... When? ... how? .." he tried to ask but his brain failed him yet again

"this is so not the time to ask questions, but you're in shock and I need you to help me so listen" kook was suddenly in front of him his big palms grabbing his stiff shoulders

" you know that old guy living in the house next to us? You know how during this past week he complained non stop and even called the police on us because of a little music? Well he has a lot of birds, chickens, pigeons....EVERYTHING" he was talking fast now, his words getting jumbled up together, his hands holding tae a little tighter

" I wen tto talk to him today and he was a total assholes so when I was leaving I just grabbed the closest bird to me which happens to be this lovely lady and I run away, I might give it back once he starts being nice and acts like a decent human being , I thing he saw me, but I'm not sure"

He knew he had his blank stare on, the one that will be followed by one of his breakdowns, because yes he was going to have one since his fool of a boyfriend decided that it's okay to steal chickens now and god help or else he was going to have a stroke and die and miss out on that van gogh exhibition he desperately wanted to go to because of a goddamn chicken

"YOU DID WHAT?" he screamed, his voice rising an octave or two above normal, he was really hoping he was wrong and that he heard everything wrong, but this was jungkook he was dealing with, so the worst case scenario was probably going to be what really happened

"please tell me you didn't steal this" he hoped; putting the bird in front of jungkook's sheepish face

"you are going to be the end of me, I thought that you raising those motherfucking spiders and losing all 6 of them in our apartment was going to do it but nope since I didn't have brain aneurism and died you decided to do something even more outrageous" he was rambling he knew that, he was sweating and he was hugged that chicken to his chest, he looked down and she was looking back at him, the poor thing probably scare and confused.

He was going to name her Claudia he decided, it suited her.

If someone else saw them, they would be lying on the floor laughing their asses off but he was too panicked to do that, their neighbor called the police because of a little party, they were definitely going to jail now because his stubborn boyfriend decided that it was good idea to steal one of the annoying old jerk's pets.

" omg we're going to jail, you're going to jail and your mom is going to chew my ear off because I couldn't keep you out of trouble and your dad is going to finally fire you even though you're his best damn employee and your asshole of a brother is going to gloat for the rest of his life and you're going to be sad and gloomy and have that sad puppy look on your face for the rest of your life and YOU ARE SO STUPID" he hugged Claudia closer to his chest

He looked at over at jungkook and the younger was looking like a deer caught in headlights, his doe like eyes looking panicked, his mouth open shocked from tae's outburst and his skin had this greenish tint.

Taehyung felt bad, he was overreacting and he realized that now, so what he took Claudia, that awful godforsaken man made their life an absolute hell for the past week, from putting his trash in front of their house to cutting their electricity and calling the police, he was despicable and Claudia was lucky kook chose her and freed her from being in the presence of that monster.

He felt laughter bubbling inside of him, little laughs escaping his closed lips

"I did it, I finally broke you haven't I ?" kook whispered his expression horrified and took a few careful steps towards tae who was full-blown laughing right now.

His head was thrown backwards, tears streaming down his face, his sides were aching and he didn't think his legs could keep him anymore.

He wiped a tear that managed to escape and looked at a frozen jungkook, that green tint more present than ever.

"I'm not mad, loosen up will you, and I haven't lost my marbles yet so don't worry, you need to kidnap a person or steal an airplane or something for me to actually go crazy"

" so you're not angry ?" jungkook asked hesitantly

" no I'm not mad, that asshole deserved that, god I hate him" tae groaned " he's never getting Claudia back"

" Claudia?" kook asked, his eyebroaws scrunching up bit making him look adorable as fuck

" yes" tae beamed and shrugged his shoulder " she looks like a claudia"

Now it jungkook who bursted out laughing, his whoe body leaning on the sofa in front of him.

Tae was staring and he didn't care.

Jungkook was truly breathtaking and taehyung was so mesmerized so enchanted by the man sitting in front of him.

After years of being together you'd think that the fire would've dimmed a bit, that his heart wouldn't beat his loud whenever the younger smiled that bunny smile of his, he thought that maybe the butterflies wouldn't be doing back flips in his stomach whenever their lips touched, whenever jungkook cupped his checks between his large .

But he was still addicted to him, addicted to his intoxicating smell, to the spark that appeared in his eyes whenever he was up to something, to the way his rough exterior soften to tae and tae only.

He was hopelessly in love with him, the whole package, even the idiotic acts that may get them in trouble, but who was he kidding he would go to hell and back if it meant he would see jungkook laugh like this every day of his life.

They did end up giving Claudia back, and surprisingly tae was the one who didn't want to give her back and kook had to promise he'd bring him sweets everyday for a whole month and give him back massages too for tae to relent and agree on giving Claudia back

And if you're wondering, no they didn't get in trouble because the old assholes's son was actually very sweet and he agreed to not tell his dad about this little 'misunderstanding'