Watashi wa shiyou to shite imasu (Kaminari Denki x Katsuki Bakugou)

CHAPTER FOUR

Katsuki threw a blanket over the boy, pushing his shoulder to lay him down.

"You have a fever, so just sleep." Kaminari lied his head down onto his pillow and watched as Katsuki tucked him in a bit. He was weirded out, seeing how caring the boy was being. His head ached and he winced, relaxing into his mattress as it took his form. His eyes dropped and he sighed. It felt so nice to actually lay in his own clean bed for once in such a long time.

Katsuki watched over the small framed boy as he quickly fell into a deep sleep. He sighed and sat crisscross on his floor with the stack of notes that the other boy was attempting. He scratched his cheek and spread them across the floor, looking at them closely.

"None of these make any sense." He mumbled to himself before he opened one of the textbooks and flipped to the marked pages. None of the pages were even any of the lessons they had worked on in class yet. He flipped backwards to see the lesson they had been working on, and saw papers slipped inside. They were finished notes, with decent notes written across each page as he flipped.

"If he understands it, then why is he failing?" He furrowed his brows and sighed, then looking at each page carefully. He organized them per lesson and problem, ordering them and throwing away anything that was just scribbled over.

Katsuki grabbed an unused spiral notebook from Kaminari's desk and a pen, flipping open to the front page and titling it, writing a page number, and starting with the beginning lesson. He organized the notes in the neatest hand writing that he could, since he would usually just write chicken scratch.

He wrote and wrote, filling each page with endless notes, neatly organized and easy to read and understand with small notes with words, explaining how to he did something.

He flipped to another page, and saw faint writing behind the page over. He paused for a moment before flipping over the empty page between his notes and the writing. He began to read.

'I have no one else to talk to, so I'm just going to write out my feelings. I think there's something wrong with me. I don't know why I keep getting bad grades, but it hurts. I used to be top of my class, so I don't understand why. Every time I've tried to ask Aizawa for help he just ignores me or tells me to don't worry about it, but I really do need help. I've tried so hard as to working ahead and teaching myself problems, and giving myself answers then working backwards, and even creating my own problems. I don't get it. Why am I always the one left behind? I keep denying going to hang out anywhere because I think that if I keep studying and work hard, then maybe it will finally click. I don't want all of this work I've done to go to waste. It feels useless, and I hate doing it, but I don't know what else to do. I'm lost. It feels like everyone is noticing but isn't lifting a finger to help me, and it's embarrassing to ask someone for help after I've been shunned.'

Katsuki felt weird reading this, but he would have to turn the pages to take them out. He turned the page again and there was more writing.

'I think there is something wrong with me. Every time I look at other guys, I get a tingly feeling. I feel gross when it happens! Why am I feeling like this? They're just people. I like girls! I swear I like girls. I've had girlfriends before, and I've liked girls before. When I saw Kirishima shirtless I couldn't help but get butterflies, and Bakugou makes me feel worse. I feel wrong about this all. Is this really okay? Maybe I'm studying too hard. Yesterday, I touched myself...'

Bakugou's eyes widened and he slammed the book shut, his face felt hot and his breath caught in his throat. He covered his mouth a bit, looking over at Kaminari. He was sound asleep, his lips parted a bit and he was covered in a cold sweat, his brows furrowed as he slept. Bakugou flipped back to the end of his notes, finishing the last problem a little sloppy before he collected up Kaminari's old notes, putting them in a trash bag. He picked up the new book of notes and set them gently on his desk, his fingers tracing over the top of it. His fingertips lingered against the front of the notebook and he thought back to what Kaminari had wrote. He hesitated to open it again and read the rest. He looked at the time.

It was already ten 'til five. Was he really writing notes for two hours? Kaminari was bound to wake up soon, and he didn't want to have to face him at this moment. He was embarrassed and confused. He swallowed hard before leaving quietly, shutting the door quietly behind him with a soft click.

The over-com would come on soon to call for dinner, and he had ten minutes until he would have to see Kaminari. His heart pounded in his chest and it felt as if that was all he could hear. He took a step off in the direction back to his dorm room that was located on another floor.

That's when Kirishima rounded the corner, heading straight for where he was.

"Bakugou! Why aren't you in your dorm? Were you with Denki?" He came over smiling bright, waving an arm in the air.

Bakugou shove his hands in his grey sweatpants' pockets, balling his fists in them as he walked the opposite direction of the boy. He almost immediately caught up, wrapping an arm around his shoulder.

"What's wrong, Katsuki?" Eijirou questioned, cocking his head to the side and stopped in his tracks. He sighed and let Katsuki walk ahead, turning and walking for Kaminari's dorm.

Katsuki noticed this and sped off, reaching his dorm before Kaminari was able to answer his door.