a love promise under the stars by a.m.

message 1

Atsuki, my name means love and moon. I used to hate this name. I mean who would like to have a name related to the moon. People used to tease me that I should be as gloomy as my name. I always paid attention to the negative, never the positive. I'm starting to grow, I can't say I'm as mature as I wished I was but slowly I'm learning. I learned that my name also means love. Love and moon in one name is great! I mean I could make my own stories now.

The woman fell in love with the man on the moon. The man on the moon made a move and treasured the woman although they are miles apart.

Or how the romantic line goes, "I love you to the moon and back."

There was a point where I thought to myself, couples care about how they have a good impression towards others. At times they may be fake to themselves, to others and sadly their partner.

So I came to the conclusion if you love someone you have to love them not only when they're shining but also when the moon appears, when they aren't the best person. You are supposed to love them during the day when the sun is shining and during the night when the moonlight reflects on everyone's true nature.

I no longer hate my name. Rather I learned to love it and wait for my romance. Or I was going to wait for my romance but, hey, time doesn't wait for anyone. I took a step instead, to find someone that I could love through the day and through the night. Someone who would love me just as much.

-> αtѕukí♡
-> xx/xx

I write in my new journal trying to remind myself to stay happy. I happen to only date people online. I mean I'm not the prettiest pumpkin in the patch, and I'm used to it. I dated someone a year ago, during the times I was not healthy mentally, that ended up on "good terms" little did my ex-partner know that I knew about things they did.

They tried to hide the fact that they had feelings for an old friend of mine. Luckily I have a loyal friend, they told me everything that happen and my naïve self still stayed with him. We ended up breaking up on my little brother's birthday. There went my first relationship.

I dated some other people after but broke up and stayed as friends. I guess I'm not cut out for a love life.

...

"Hey Atsuki!" my friend Kathy runs up to me.

"Hi"

"How's life?" Kathy knows I'm bad at conversations so she tends to take the lead.

"Fine I guess, what about for you?"

"So formal!" She shouts and she starts tugging down on my arm.

"What do you want me to say, 'Oh it's going amazing! Life couldn't be better! I mean I went to Disneyland, three years ago. School's starting soon and I haven't went shopping. I broke up with someone else again this week.'" I reply in a sarcastic voice.

Kathy gives me a glare with a frown then she turns it upside down. She starts cracking up like who knows what. "Gosh I went to Disneyland last week, I should've took you!"

I give her a small smile. Kathy is that friend, the one to make me happy even when we have nothing to talk about.

"So did you really break up with the person you started dating, YESTERDAY?!"

"Um yea, they said we we're done so I was like okay lets make it official from now on we're just 'friends'. And you I never talk to those friends again."

"Yeah that's true, did you cry?"

"Why would exactly? I mean we were just dating one day and it was just because we were flirting and he asked me out. I would've felt bad if I rejected him so yeah" I look at Kathy and she's trying to hide her smile.

"Gosh you are something Atsuki."

I smile and Kathy starts telling me all about her boyfriend and how they're going to have a date after school.

I envy relationships that are in real life. They get to see each others face as they say stuff. They get to hug each other and give each other real kisses. But then again in online relationships you have to trust each other. You get to feel really happy just by hearing your partner's voice and have a texting buddy. They don't mind if you move away, either way online relationships are basically long distance relationships.

I just envy those relationships that managed to last.