13 Reasons Why [L.S.]

Closures

Even though this is about Louis, and he's the one that had to suffer from everything Taylor did to him, I can't help my shaky legs as we walk from the car to her front door. Louis was silent for most of the drive, but when I asked him a question he didn't seem nervous, so I guess that's a good sign.

Considering the fact that Taylor has been down with depression the last while, I doubt she'll have anything mean to say to Louis. She'll probably just think she's hallucinating or dreaming at first. Once she realizes that Louis is actually standing in front of her, I have no clue what so ever what she'll do.

We walk hand in hand, as always, towards the door. We reach the front door, and just as I'm about to knock on it, Louis reaches his hand up and lays a finger under my chin. He turns my head towards him and leans up to kiss my lips.

"I love you." He says, almost no strength in his voice.

Confused, but bubbling of happiness inside I answer, "I love you too."

He then nods towards the door, and I knock a short melody on the wooden front door. Within a few moments a woman opens the door.

From my guess she's in her early forties. She's a little short with shoulder-length blond hair. At first when she sees us her eyes stay a little longer on Louis. She obviously knows who he is, and that he should be dead, but she's trying to play it cool.

"Hi, ma'am. I'm Harry, this is Louis." I motion to Louis and stretch my hand forward to shake hers.

She copies my actions and we shake hands as she nods her head.

"What can I do for you boys?" She asks sweetly. She does seem like a nice person, in contrast to Taylor...

"We wanted to talk with Taylor.." I ask cautiously, not wanting to overstep anything.

"I'll see if she's awake and okay." She smiles nicely. "You can come in." She opens the door further before she turns and walks to what I'm guessing is Taylor's room down the hall.

I can see Louis is nervously tapping his shoes to the floor as we wait, so I take a hold of his hand and whisper, "It's alright."

It calms him a little and he takes a deep breath, inhaling for a very long time before exhaling.

Taylor's mom, she never mentioned her name, finally comes back out from the room.

"She kind of panicked when I told her you guys were here, but I calmed her down and she's ready now." She leads us down the hall and into Taylor's room.

It's not at all what I expected to say the least. It's very grey, and there's almost no things on the walls. The only things in the room are the furniture. It's boring to be honest.

Taylor is sitting in her bed, the covers drawn up to her neck. Her hair is messy, her eyes look heavy and the skin under her eyes is very dark. She looks like she haven't slept in three days.

The silence is thick in the room as neither Louis or Taylor speaks. Guess I'll have to do it then.

"Hi Taylor." I smile kindly. As kindly as I can at least.

"Harry." She pays no attention to me since her eyes are staring at Louis as he stands in the doorway of the room.

A few moments of complete silence go by before both Taylor and Louis decide to speak.

"I'm sorry." They say in unison.

"Sorry? What are you sorry for?" Taylor immediately asks, genuinely confused.

"This." Louis motions to Taylor in her bed. "What you are going through right now because of me." He shrugs.

"No. This is completely my fault, and I'm only in this position because I put myself in it." She says sternly.

Louis nods slowly. He knows she's right, but deep down he still has a feeling of guilt.

"I was a bitch. I did something terrible and awful and so, so, so wrong that I dare not talk about it, and I'm so sorry. I can't describe how bad I've felt because of what you went through just because I was mad you for rejecting me. It wasn't even with a bad intention you did that, you were - you are - gay, you can't control that. It's totally fine you are gay, and I admire you for coming out, but you only came out because I forced you to, and that's not fair of me."

Her eyes are watering by now, and she's barely holding it together.

"Look, Taylor.....what you did.....was something that'll stick with me for the rest of my life. That really wasn't okay, and what you probably thought was just something small made me actually want to kill myself. That's seriously messed up. The only reason I didn't.." He walks a little forward to where I'm standing and enterwine his hand with mine. 

"Is Harry. But you - and I - were just lucky I had a reason to hold on to life. I could have killed myself, and god knows what you would do to yourself then. So, the only thing I have to say, is that you need to think about what you do, and not be so damn selfish and full of yourself." 

Taylor flinches at the hard words, but I think she knew it was coming to her. 

"I'm sorry, but it's just not okay to do stuff like that, and you have to learn that. 

If it's gonna help you from not being so sad, I'll forgive you, but just know that this is gonna haunt me for the rest of my life probably just as much as it's gonna haunt you."

Louis' eyes are glossy from the tears he's holding back now as well. 

"I......I don't know what to say. 

You're right. In everything. And I can't explain to you how sorry I am and how much it taunts me to know that I was the reason for the hell you went through. I've thought about killing myself too these last few days, and you must have had that feeling for so long, and that's killing me to know. I just wish I could go back and change it all. I'm so sorry." 

I can see on her face that she means every single word she says, and that she really does want to change what she did. But she can't. 

"Thank you for letting us see you Taylor. We hope you get better." I think we all had enough of this for today, so I escort Louis outside again. 

As soon as we are standing by my car, Louis breaks down. He's overwhelmed by his emotions and he starts crying aggressively. 

"No, no, no, no, shh, it's alright." I immediately run to him, embracing him in a tight hug.

We stand there for a while until Louis' crying slowly dies down and he looks up at me. 

"I don't know how to thank you for being here for me while I'm going through this. I love you so so much." He whispers. 

"No, I'm thanking you." 

"For what?"

"For not giving up. For holding on to life and giving it one last chance. Giving me a chance."

He hugs me tightly again. "I love you, and I'll always be here for you." I peck his wet lips. 

"Now, what do you say we drive back home, make some chocolate milk and watch Shrek?" I smile, making him smile as well.

"I'd love that."