Trying to remember

Chapter one - Awakening

She tried to focus on the noises around her, but they sounded so distant, too distant. Perhaps it was the ringing that was over-powering their voices - for that was clearly what she was hearing. The ringing, buzzing sound was not unlike the far sounds of a vacuum cleaner, she later realised. Simular to that moment when you are casually talking and pop there goes the buzzing noise in only your own ears, those around you oblivious to your momentary full body lock down. However at that moment, she could not associate the humming drone with anything, because she could not think of anything. Concentrating on the effort to open her eyes but they would not even flicker. Perhaps she was in the dark with this humming, and far-off murmurings. If only she could just will them to crack open slightly then she might see who these voices were around her. She could feel they were there. Not in the sense that she felt their touch, just that she sensed their presence. If she had been able to feel physical touch, she would have perhaps been more afraid. Afraid of the inability to move; to talk; to scream. Afraid of the humming, which could have been blurring out the voices around her. Just speak up she wanted to scream; to whisper. Speak up so I can hear you. Please help me!

Her pleas of course could not be answered if they were not voiced. She was not afraid, but angry. Angry with herself for not speaking up, angry with the voices around her for not helping, even angry with her body - as if it were a separate entity. At that time, it really did feel that way to her. But was she angry? She did not understand the feelings that were coursing through her body. She was quite simply...lost.

"Wait! I saw a flicker!" A voice! A voice she could hear, very faintly against the humming but she did hear it. Deep, yet clearly enthralled with a possible movement that might have been seen - she certainly hadn't felt it. "There it is again!" The voice was closer, clearer too, they must be standing right over me, she thought. " Ever so slowly, light was creeping into her darkness. A small amount before it would disappear again. Without darkness there can be no light. Light is simply the absence of darkness...or was it the other way around?

"Are you sure?" This voice was clear...rich in nature, another male voice. Her mind was beginning to reform patterns, but of course that was beyond her understanding at the time. Other descriptions of speech were still out of her comprehension, but she was able to distinguish a male voice. Before, they were simlpy spoken words.

"Doctor Bennet," it said again, "I can assure you of what I saw!"

A Doctor? That was someone who helped you. Please help me, her silenced plea screamed again.
The voices fell silent, or perhaps the humming had increased, she was not able to tell - she could still only focus on being lost and abandoned. Why are they not helping me?

"Perhaps it was the lighting." Came the voice once more.

"I know what I saw." It was louder this time. This was not one voice. perhaps two or more - but she could not distinguish the differences in tones. It were as if the Doctor were simply arguing with himself. Then another realisation hit...there were Doctors helping her, not just the one. Am I someone special, that more than one person is here to help me?
Who was she? She knew what a Doctor was, she knew she was not a Doctor. Yet, she did not know what she was. How could she not know what she was? Doctor Bennet - that was a name. What is my name? I don't know my name - how can I not know my own name? She started to panic - anger quickly spreading and taking full aim at herself.

"Tell me you saw it that time?" The sudden pitched voice momentarily silenced her own thoughts, putting a hault to the shame of not knowing who she was - if the term 'shame' were to follow the anger.
"Yes Doctor Steel, I saw it."

"Hello there," came the first voice, soft and calm, his breath touching her skin. "You're in the emergency department at the hospital. We're taking the best care of you. You have a broken arm and leg - so don't try to move too suddenly. Some of your ribs were broken too. Your head was hit quite badly - you're very lucky."