"have you ever loved somebody so much it makes you cry? have you ever needed something so bad you can't sleep at night? have you ever tried to find the words but they don't come out right?"
song: have you ever by brandy
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he's late, and its worrying. usually jaebum is home by six-thirty, so that he can eat dinner with seulgi while its hot... and then he showers and they cuddle and unwind. it's nearing nine-thirty, meaning he's three hours behind schedule and seulgi feels sick to her stomach. she's a ball of nervous energy, sitting up right in their bed, arms wrapped around herself, trying to keep from unraveling. what could he possibly be doing? is he with someone? jinyoung perhaps? mark? jackson? or maybe another female?
that thought alone, has seulgi's eyes prickling with tears, her mind racing through a large scenario of what ifs. unpleasant memories come to the forefront of her mind, her breath quickening, her skin itchy and uncomfortable. she feels like she might vomit, but she doesn't have the energy to even move. she closes her eyes tight, fighting the urge to ball up and cry, and then she does her best to regulate her breathing. not now, she tells herself, not today.
the sound of a keypad forces her eyes open, and she scrambles to get out of bed to investigate. jaebum's soaked through his clothes, shivering, but he forces a smile when he sees her peeking out from the corner. "hey..." he calls out gently, removing his shoes and putting them down with a gross plop.
"you're home late." she manages to say.
"meeting ran late, and then the subways were backed up. i texted you before my phone died." he tells her, making his way to their bathroom, removing his clothing as he does so.
"you did?" seulgi wonders, heading back to their bedroom to look at the device she frankly forgot to check. sure enough, her screen illuminates and reveals over five unread texts, all from jaebum.
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"it took a little longer because i stopped to get food, i figured you were busy with work and probably couldn't wait for me. maybe i should have called instead."
"it's fine."
"go to bed, babe. i'll join you after i warm up." he presses a kiss against her forehead before disappearing into the bathroom, and seulgi's left feeling horrible.
she's been with jaebum for three years now, has rejected his proposal to get married twice, yet he still chooses to be with her. he still chooses to love her, despite everything she's put him through and it's terrifying. prior to jaebum, seulgi was in a longstanding relationship. she accepted that proposal, was a month away from walking down the aisle, and then it all came crashing down. she saw the signs, but ignored them. her ex would stay out longer, there was always meetings that ran late, business dinners that dragged on. her ex would come home, shower immediately and then sleep. he stopped telling her that she was beautiful everyday. stopped kissing her goodbye, stopped repeating 'i love you'.
