To you; My pisces male species.
I woke up different.
I woke up thinking I don't matter anymore.
(Not that it's a must).. but I guess this whole fantasy was just all inside my head.
I dived in shallow waters;
Fighting with the waves to pull myself up;
My gasping for air, screaming inadequate.
It hurts to know my heart is bleeding for one man, unaccustomed to swimming in such depths.
I woke up different.
Done trying to figure out who was with me, against me, or walking down the middle because they don't have the guts to pick a side.
I woke up done trying with anything that didn't bring me peace; That opinions were a dime; That validation was for parking, and that loyalty isn't a word, but a lifestyle.
Today was the day my life changed.
Not because I found another pisces male species;
But because I realized that life is way too short to leave the keys to your happiness in someone else's pocket.
Maybe one day if I could come back just for a day, I would know what to say.
I would say; It's okay to be sad for a while, but what I really want most, is to see you smile, and for you to go on and live once again.
As much as I wanted us to depart; I don't quite understand it myself; But you will get it with a little help.
I would look over your shoulder, and inhale your scent in one more time.
With you, acknowledging the pain in my eyes, without having to fear the road ahead.
But the road without you, doesn't scare me, that I can reassure you.
But what scares me, is that; I searched my heartache for the words to convey such sadness.
I fear I will never find anyone on the road I love ...as much as I love you.
But sadly the fire and fuel got married, setting our bridge on fire.
Our bridge, that's now unusable for future mistakes.
