the real life burn book of a teenage girl

some things that sucked

so I just now decided that this chapter's gonna be about things that have happened that can only be

1) karma for something

2) god being a fucking asshole to me

3) me being a total dumbass like i am

So just remember that it hurts me more to write about and relive than it hurts you to read about.

~the time I got asked to homecoming~

Now you are probably already judging me because you're like "at lEAST SHE GOT ASKED!" but oOoOoOHHHHH NO YOU DONT GET IT.

so im new to my school this year and I was in this math class with a guy (lets call him W bc why tf not) and he talked to me for a while and he seemed cool but i didnt know him well at ALL, i actually to this day, dont even know his last name. so he switched out of my math class and I like never saw him again and I didnt like him any more than a friend, not because he was a jerk but I just didnt, ya feel? so I go to the homecoming football game a few weeks later and met this girl who I thought, was super nice and social. So then W comes over and he's chatting me up and i felt weird like dread?? And then his bitch ass friend walks over and he's like "W wants you to go to homecoming with him." And W's like "dUDE" but he looks at me like "but fr fr will u" and im going to explain two things to you now.

1) I have anxiety. I'll explain more later, and hopefully you'll hate me less, but i almost hate being asked out because the world stops spinning and Im trying to figure out how to say no (because im too whatever to say yes, whole story ill explain later) and I sit there like " holy fucking fuckity fuck fuck help me lord" because this boy is sweet, not super cute but decent, but i sort of liked someone else and I just panicked

2) I swim and my practices are from 6-7:15 monday through friday.

So I cant function and he's sitting there waiting and I say the worst thing i ever could have said;

"I have practice that day."

and he looks at me for a solid minute like ??¿ and he tries to convince me to go and im going on about practice like I CANT CONTROL MY MOUTH I WAS DIGGING MYSELF A HOLE AND SCREAMING FOR HELP. And then that girl I was talking to? She turns to me and my eyes SCREAM "jesus christ please save me" and do you know what this bitch says?

She's like "you have practice on a saturday at 9-11 pm?? Go with him!" And i almost puked.

so eventually he got the message and that girl is HOUNDING me like "why didnt u say yes!?" And im about to KILL HER. So i explain and i start to feel SUPER bad so i go looking for him to apologize and in the end i had to leave and the girl did it.

But theres a part two...