Lavender's Letters ( Lavanta'nın Mektupları)

7 week

I loved listening to you talking about anything.
I'm literally leaving my hearing aside.
With your lips moving so well, I can't focus on what you're saying...
The curling of his lip, the way he use his hands that drive my classic fetish, the way opening and closing of his eyes, the smile, all his gestures and everything about him ...
I loved all this. Now, with my eyes, what I could see so far was not enough for me. I wanted to see more. I wanted to take a closer look.
Maybe more, but I wanted you.

"Dear man who has proved to me that there is a piece of love in me,
Even if it makes me happy to know you're alive, I wonder how you are. I just want to know who you are from you , not from him, not from her. I don't want to meet you. I want to know you like anyone don't. I want to know every detail up , what you are or what is not . I want to discover you. I just want to know why the deep waves are so angry at the rocks why they just hit some rocks so hard. I want to know why you feel sorry for those shores that make a shore out of these crowded sand particles and make no sound of anything.
You're still holding them down with your waves, tired of hitting rocks. You try to forgive them again and again with your waves, but they don't come with you.
Don't you realize?
Aren't you tired?
Or don't you ever feel sorry for yourself ?
Or can't you quit?
I want to know this. Is there anything you're afraid of? For sure there is, of course, but what? I don't you want to stand strong against me. If you want, you can be big or cry to me with the innocent tears of a frustrated child who runs to the her / his mother. Between my arms cry for stupid reasons, maybe on my shoulder, your head on my knee. But I will never tell you not to cry. I promise. I could even promise you that I could keep my promises. As long as you're a stranger to me for the rest of my life ...
Don't be irresistible anymore.
I can't deny anymore to myself that I am the irresistible one. Squeeze me with yourself. Fill me with you long enough to suffocate.
Feed me too much to be in need of you anymore. Don't kiss me on my shoulder while you're sleeping in one of my crazy minds. Every time I touch my shoulder, you leave a kiss there. Every night when I try to drink water at any time zone, if you wake up, hold me again and again. Feed me with the love I need. "

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                                        -Lavender