Please, don't change (A Michael Clifford fanfiction)

Just the start.

In this fanfic, eveyone is a little older than IRL! :))))


Bella’s POV.

I was sitting at home, alone, again.

It was Friday night, he was out clubbing, again.

Ever since he came home from tour he haven’t been around, he’s always disant, and sad.

I wonder if I did something wrong, or if he’s just being dumb.

But I miss him, I miss my beautiful Mikey.

*3 hours later*

The door to our shared apartment opens up, in goes a wasted Michael.

“I guess you’re drunk”

He look at me and almost trips over.

“Yeah, and what are you gonna do about it, bitch?”

I look at him shocked.

“Did you just call me a bitch? Michael Gordon Clifford, what the fucks your problem?!”

He chuckels.

“You’re my problem!”

I looked at him with tears in my eyes, smiled a sad smile, and said.

“Fuck you Michael! Fuck you so hard!”

I walked to the balcony, behind me I heard him laugh, and under his breach say “Bitch”

I walked out on the balcony and smoked a cigarette, tried to calm my nerves.

It didn’t work. 

I called my best friend Cecilia and told her everything, i began to cry, she told me "It just because he's druk and acting up, he'll be back to his old normal self tomorrow, just wait."
I cried a little more.
"But Cece, he called be a bitch! He used to call me his angel!"
We talked for about five more minutes, then I went back inside.

Michael had passed out on the couch, I went in to our bedroom, I turned on my MacBook and went on Tumblr, a lot of cute pictures of Mikey and I.

When I looked at them I just began to cry, he doesn't love me anymore, he thinks I'm a bitch.

I took my little green box from under the bed, I opened it, and there they were, my beautiful little razor blades.

I took one up that never used before, so its extra sharp.

I drew it across my left arm, some deeper than others, but Michael made me feel like shit, so why wouldn't I make myself look a little more ugly?

Michael is an assface who doesn't know how to treat a girl. Gosh I just hate him so much right now, what the fuck happend to us? Before the tour everything was perfect! He gave me flowers every Sunday and Tuesday, breakfast on bed atleast once a week. He was everything any girl could dream of. Now look at us.. 

Gosh I need sleep.

Before I went to sleep, I logged on Twitter, 100+ new followers, A LOT of mentions, but I just ignored them.

I wanted to tweet something.

"@Bella_Smells: When life gives you lemons, say fuck you! Cuz why the hell would you want lemons?"

With that i went to bed.

*Next morning*

I woke up at around 8 am, I sighed as soon as I remembered last night.

Michael called me "his promblem and a bitch" it sucks cuz he's my boyfriend, and we've been together the last four years! Gosh I miss him.
Anyways, I got out of bed.
I went out of our bedroom, into the livingroom, and all the boys were there, and i were only wearing a t-shirt.
Cal and Lukey smilede at me.
Ashton, my older brother looked at me.
"Uhm, Bells, how about you take some clothes on, and then we have a little talk?"
I smiled an awkward smiie.
"Sure Ash"

I went into the bedroom again, took some black leegings on, a loose Nirvana shirt on, brushed my hair, some quik make-up, and done.
I smiled to myself a little, ad wispered.
"Stay strong Bella!"

I went out again, smiled at the boys, Micheal just rolled his eyes at me.
"You ready Ashy?"
He nodded.
"Sure lil' sis, lets go to the balcony"

We were on the balcony, I lit a cigaret.
"So what do you wanna talk about bro?"
He looked at the view from our apartment.
"I see you cut last night, what happend sis?"
He sounded sad.
I sighed, I totally forgotten about that.
"Mikey said I was his promblem and called me a bitch, I think he's cheating."
Ashton looked into my eyes.
"Bells, he'd never cheat! And if he does I'll beat his ass! Nobody has the right to hurt my baby sister!"
I smilede with tears in my eyes.
"Do you even think he loves me anymore?"
i took a puff of my cig.
"He's just confused right now, I'm like 110% sure he still loves you, who wouldn't? You're amazing Issabella"
I looked at him, took a puff.
"But Ash, I'm not amazing, I'm just a 20 year old girl, who does youtube videos, smoke cigarettes, cry and cut, Please tell me what amazing about that?"
He laughed lightly.
"You dont get  it do you? Everybody but yourself thinks you're amazing, that you're beautiful, and it hurts my heart as your big brother that you can't see it"
I took one last puff.
"I'm so lucky to have a brother like you, now lets go back inside"
He hugged me, kissed my forehead, with that we went inside.

The boys stayed at our place for about 2 hours, 3 hours tops, we laughed and talked, but I didn't talk with Michael at all.
When the boys left, i looked at him.
“Michael I think we need to talk about this”
He looked me in the eye, but there wasn’t love in his eyes.
“Theres nothing to talk about Bella”
I looked at him with a confused expression.
“Theres nothing to talk about? What about how you called me a bitch, and your problem? What the hell happened to us?”
He looked down at his feet.
“Nothing happened to us, we’re as good as before”
I began to walk outside on the balcony, he followed, I lit my cigarette, and took a deep puff.
“Michael, we’re aren’t as good as before, you made me feel like shit yesterday, you made me cut! Usually you’re the reason not to, yesterday you were the reason to, and I just can’t go on like that, please dont change"
He got a mad expression on his face.
“Well I’m not the same that I was 5 years ago, fame changes you, no matter how hard I want to deny it, it does! I was drunk! Its not my fault you decided to harm yourself because of some drunken word, now is it?”
I started to feel sad, then I took a puff of my cig.
“Drunk words, sober thoughts, that what you said to me, after I told you I loved you the first time, while I was drunk as fuck, remember?”

I trew my half cigarette away, and went inside.
I took on my boots, my army jacket, and sunglasses, looked in the mirror and left.
As soon as I went outside, there were 20 teen girls wanting for Michael.
“Sorry girls he’s not coming”
I took music in my ears, and just walked down the street, I got to starbuks, lovely little starbuks.
I went inside and ordered a strawberry latté.
I waited for my latté, after five minutes it was ready, and that always lovely.
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Sorry if the first chapter is shit.. 
I'll edit it as soon as possible.
-Gabbyyyyyyy