It Hurts

Chapter 1

Charity

For the past 14 years of my life, I have had very little trouble. As time went on, my parents noticed my behaviour change. Now typical parents would just assume this was puberty taking its place in life but my parents thought differently. I became irritable and oblivious to my surroundings and they just didn't know how to handle this. My parents tried and tried to figure out what was wrong. As they took me to doctors appointments, my classmates started to notice. And because I've never been a 'popular kid', it didn't help my reputation. I was now known around school as the 'problem kid' which in case it wasn't already obvious, it isn't the same thing. I found it hard to focus on anything and everything. Walking into school every day, being called names as I walk down the corridor, and not being able to do my work in class frustrated me. Everything went straight over my head. Nothing ever sank in. I was just this body, walking around from class to class, anxious about everything. It was like I wasn't ever part of my classes. I was distracted by everything, sometimes these distractions weren't even real. A delusion if you will. Nobody started to worry until this one day. This one day, in which my delusions had reached a peak. As I raced down the stairs and into the kitchen. I looked around with a big smile on my face.

"Nana! Nana!" I called. There was never an answer until I reached my mother's office.

"Charity dear, what are you yelling about?" she called.

I stared at her with a giant smile, this was the happiest I had been in a while.

"I saw Nana getting into the car outside my bedroom window! I wondered where she was off too" I exclaimed.

My mother sighed and stared at me in concern for a moment before a tear streamed down her face.

"Charity, your Nana has been gone for quite some time now. She died, remember that? Don't you remember Charity?" she asked.

I paused for a moment. All of my memories of her last moments weren't in my head. Was I even there when she passed? Did I say goodbye? I didn't remember. My eyes began to tear up as I stood in the hall. Suddenly, I collapsed and my eyes became waterfalls My mother got up from her desk to comfort me. 'It's ok' she kept saying. But I just couldn't handle the fact that I forgot my own nana's death. What was wrong with me? The frustration overtook my body. My mind. I calmed down and carried on with my routine as usual and I thought I was going to be fine. But I proved myself wrong during 3rd period. During my English class, I could not focus on anything. all I could hear was my nana calling out to me. Looking for me. As the lesson went on and my mind filled with her voice, I started to scream and cry.

"GO AWAY. YOU'RE NOT REAL. YOU'RE NOT REAL" I cried, looking around the room trying to find where the voice was coming from.

As I continued to have a fit, my class and teacher watched in silence, not sure what to do, or what was happening. Eventually, someone was sent to the office to contact my parents. By the time my mother got to the school, I had calmed down a little. Well, I had stopped screaming, but that was a good start. I could still hear her voice crowding my mind. My mother embraced me and kissed my forehead before leading me to the car. As I sat in the car, looking out the window and into the distance, I thought about what this meant, was I incapable of living my day to day life?

The drive home was quiet. I sat there thinking about how I could help myself, and in doing so, help my parents. When we pulled into my driveway, I noticed another car out the front. As I walked into the house, I noticed a woman sitting on the couch in the front living room.

"Charity, I'd like you to meet Dr Jones," My mother said, introducing the lady on the couch. The lady stood up and walked over to shake my hand.

"Nice to meet you Charity"