Something lived, Something felt

CHAPTER 45

CHAPTER 45

Zainab got off the phone with Amna and Khalid congratulating them on their marriage, they were starting their life together while she had no idea where has was headed. It had been over a month and he hadn't call nor did she; after all it was his fault, if anyone was calling it should be him she convinced herself. Her younger brother came into the room and told her that their parents were calling her.

"Zainab let me ask you," her father said seated on a chair beside her mother while she was on the floor "Are we not your parents?"

"Baba you are." she said faintly, her heart escalating with the tension around her.

"What is going on between you and you husband that you don't want to go back to your house?" he asked and she kept quiet ruffling her dress nervously.

"Is your father not talking to you?" her mother asked in a rather high pitch "Or you thought we would not know?" she sounded clearly angry at the situation "You have stayed in this house for more than a month, we were just looking at you to see how far insanity goes"

"Zainab am listening to you, answer my question" her father said in a calm voice. She didn't know where to begin or whether to say anything, her heart pounded against her chest as she sat in front of her angry parents.

"We are trying to figure things out" she managed to said hoping it was valid enough but she knew it was the opposite when she heard her mother screech.

"Children of these days I don't understand, ha'an!" she looked at her husband who also looked disappointed "So you're trying to figure things out? Eh? You have to leave your house. For more than a month and the Sadiq that I always thought was a sensible person, both of you, trying to figure things out for more than a month. Hmm!" she clapped dramatically and probably amazed at their uncultured stupidity.

"Zainab, you know that marriage is not a thing to play with." Her father said and she nodded, her throat feeling tight. "If you have a problem with you husband you settle it together, if you need advice that's what we're here for. Now I will call Sadiq to come". She went to her room after their conversation, tears streaming her eyes, her head hurt from everything. True she loved her husband and missed him but going back to that hole of unhappiness was not something she wanted, she wanted more. She covered her face with a pillow and screamed. She felt stuck and the road ahead seemed foggy. A knock came from the door and she quickly wiped her face as her oldest brother came in.

"Baba and Mummy told me what happened" he patted her, "How are you?"

"Am fine" she cleared her voice

"Do you want to go back?" he asked and she shrugged as she played with her pillow,

"I don't know how to forget the past, or see a future that is not like the past". He was someone she could always talk to but since she got married she figured it best to talk about stuff to her older sister.

"Zainab, we choose to forget not because we're foolish but so that we can be happy. Is human to err and divine to forgive."

"I pushed down so much, ignored a lot more" she said with gritted teeth. "Trying to uphold being a good wife"

"Zainab being a good wife means helping your husband, you cant help your husband if you're angry at him. You of all people know that men can be clueless and ignorant. If you don't tell us we assume you don't care."

"He never listens or sees what I do. I know as a woman my effort is less significant but am trying"

"Less significant?" he asked looking surprised that the Zainab he knew was diminishing herself, "You're a team and in teams everyone is as important. Don't ever say that, don't ever say you're less than someone or your effort is less significant." He scolded and she remained quiet. "Sadiq is a good person and I know that he cares for you more than anything but if you don't want this am here for you. Because at the end of the day its your life" he reassured before excusing himself. She cried her eyes out before deciding to cry to the ONE who listens. She sat back on her praying mat reciting HASBUNALLAHU WANI'AMAL WAKIL until she felt relaxed, though oblivion to the future she felt ease.