Damaged Goods

chapter 2.

"Wake up bitch", a slap to the face startles me out of my deep sleep. The all to familiar situation dawned on me as I try to stay as quiet as possible.

"I said wake up you whore, you missed your night time routine looking a little to healthy there," without even a second to respond i receive a blow to the face right on my left highlight line. Not a chance to cover myself the impact of his heal smacks me in the torso, the torso just recently healed from when he threw a shelf at me because I wasn't packing his things fast enough on moving day.

"You know you bought this on yourself thinking your all perfect, mum and dad never loved you i was the perfect child yet you were the one that got to say goodbye, they didn't even want you. Why should a child they didn't even want be the last person that they see".

This is a recurring speech every time I receive a drunk beating. 'It's your fault', 'you killed them', 'they didn't even love you'. I know for a fact that my mother and father's car accident was nothing but my brother drug dealers getting back at him for owed money.

They left me at the house alone so they could go on a date night, I guess Leo was passed out somewhere off his head. On the way to their dinner a car t-boned them at an intersection. The police later found out that it was in fact intentional and caught the instigator of the accident who my brother also happened to be in thousands of dollars of debt to. He has never accepted that it is in fact his fault they are dead and tries every day to push the blame onto me.

I didn't even have anything to do with it aside from the fact that I was the one who had to break the news to him when he was coming down off a high the next morning. I guess that's why he blames me, trying to deter the guilt towards me as if the message were the evil druggo monster that he pretends he's not. I know that it wasn't my fault, but sometimes I can't help but think maybe I deserve the cards I've been dealt, I'm different I'm weird, I don't belong like my brother used to when he was the popular guy in college. I don't have the high social status my parents had in their home town always the perfect little Christian family doing good deeds for the town, I just wanted to be by myself, do my art, be with my little group of friends and be happy. Guess life doesn't always go to how you plan it.

"I wish it was you that was dead no one needs you in this world, a waste of space is all you are", with a final punch to the upper lip I can finally feel the common lightheadedness that comes after a beating. The words 'I love you' quietly leaving my mouth soft enough for my ears only as his walking figure is the last thing i see. He will recover one day, he will heal and redeem his wrongdoings. I know he will.

---

A grown leaves my lips as I try to peel my eyes open, only one of them cooperating in the process. Reaching out to grab my phone from under my pillow a shattering pain shoots through my front, causing the reaction of a muffled scream into my pillow.

My phone lights up to show the time of 9pm, a full 24 hours I was out meaning a day of missed school, which explains the multiple text messages from the only number in my phone.

'Sassy its Tilly, do you need a lift?'

'Ahh hello why are you not in first period'

'So it's lunch and Im guessing you're not coming, just text me when you can'

A light smile makes its way onto my face but suddenly disappears as I taste the blood from my lip drip into my mouth.

Racking my brain for a good excuse I texted back a simple, 'my brother has taken me away camping for a few days Ill be back at school soon'. This is a usual thing, lie, leave then come back.

Grabbing my school backpack I grab a few changes of clothes my snuggle rug, Leo would be home soon and my body is bad enough as it is I need a few days away from his uncontrollable actions.