Eternity [Poets Of The Fall] Français/English

[EN] 11 - Sweetness (Jealous Gods)

The night was totally gone now. A few candles illuminated the deck while the moonlight was reflected on the calm water troubled exclusively by the boat on which the two men spent the evening. Olli finally felt himself filled. He told his lover his last years in more detail, his pain, his sorrow. He told him about his family, told him a few anecdotes. Slowly, he opened again, knowing he was being listened to, supported and loved. Jari cursed himself for not having been there for the blond. Only the welfare and happiness of the one he loved counted in his eyes. He felt grateful to their friends, who had helped the guitarist in his long years of absence. He himself had suffered enormously from all this, and he had received support from the other musicians, without whom he didn't know where he would be now. He decided to drive away those painful thoughts from his mind. Now he was there, and he would never go away again, he knew it. Never again would he leave Olli alone.

"- Jari, it's not your fault all that you know ? And then, it seems so far now. In my eyes, there is only you that counts. I know, I tell you that maybe too fast but, Olli was searching for his words, I don't want to lose you anymore, I don't want to lie anymore, neither to you, nor to others, nor to myself. I'm always afraid. Afraid that what I feel is not reciprocal. Afraid that you expect something else. Afraid that you go away because of me. But I refuse to let myself be guided by this fear that made me lose too many years already. And above all, I know that now you are near me. You have always been so sweet, caring, understanding. We only met again since today, but I know exactly how I feel. I know there is only you for me. Because during those years, I realized that without you, my life didn't make sense. It's not a life without you. You are the only one to make my heart beat Jari. Without you I am nothing. It was the same ten years ago, so in recent years to be so close and so far, it's the same today, and it will be the same tomorrow. I have no doubt about it."

The brown smiled an infinite tenderness at the guitarist and took his lover's hands between his.

"- Never again will I go to Olli. Beyond our love, I must admit that we also share our fears. Yet I, he recovered, we are nothing without each other. Even if we only met again today, I have the feeling that deep down, for more than ten years, nothing has changed. In a sense, we have never lost each other. And if we go from there, what could be too fast ? We spent so much time standing apart from each other. A time that we could have enjoyed to get closer, to be together, to love each other. Now we know who we are, we know what we want, one with the other. I know, it may seem silly to tell you when I'm unable to follow my advice myself, but don't be afraid Olli. I'm here. And if I'm still here, it's thanks to you."

Neither of the two musicians used to do so. However, they were so open to each other the same day that they didn't care. They refused to hide anything. Of course, they usually didn't dwell on their feelings, but today it seemed vital to express them at last, after ten years of stifling them somehow. They felt like they had so much time to catch up. But Olli thought that Jari was right. They had loved each other for so long. They had been so close so often in the past. They knew each other by heart, they trusted each other without limit. Why would it be too fast to get started at last ? While the brown gently stroked the hands of the blond, still tight in his, the guitarist felt his fears fly away. Whatever happens, the drummer will not go away anymore. Even if he happened to make a mistake, to be too rushed compared to the youngest, or to hesitate, he knew that his lover would forgive him. With Jari, he felt good, safe. Since he was no longer afraid to shout his love to him, no more afraid to show the world with pride that he had won the heart of this man so perfect in his eyes, no longer afraid to let this relationship finally follow the course of the destiny drawn for it, why would he be afraid of anything else ?

The two men had finished their meals for some time now and the guitarist got up, gently pulling on his lover's hands to tell him to follow him.

"- Will you grant me this dance, dear knight ? Proposed Olli, a big smile on his lips."