Mocha

I'd Have It No Other Way

Mocha. A simple, sweet drink. My favourite drink. Or so it was. It all started with you. You, the one who was there when I was alone. You, the one who showed me that the world wasn't a bad place. You, the one who taught me to smile again.

I remember that day, when you first talked to me. I was crying then, avoiding the crowd, not wanting to spoil the party. It was by chance, that you found me that day. I don't know how, but you broke down my walls one by one, slowly opening me up before you. I fell for you, that Christmas eve, and really, I hoped you'd feel the same.

Fast forward to next March. You bought a mocha drink, and that's when I'd started calling you Mocha. Because you were sweet then. I became infatuated with this drink, ordering it as much as possible. The sweet, yet slightly bitter taste of it enamoured me. Little did I know, it was a form of warning, that eventually we'd go our separate ways.

I was stupid, right? That I'd break up with you, because of a stupid reason. I felt so bitter then, and my best friend, the one who was always there, the one I needed, was suddenly the one I needed to get away from the most. I wondered, was there another way to have solved everything? I slowly drowned myself in mocha flavoured drinks, longing to feel you next to me again.

I was stupid. I did stupid things to try and win you back. I really had no clue. You had someone else now, someone, that I wound up calling Mr Reliable out of spite. And then you were no longer Mocha to me. I'd call you Mrs Reliable, just because I didn't want to back away.

Things continued going downhill, didn't they? After all, I was stupid, and did stupid things, acted purely on my feelings. Feelings of what, exactly? Looking back, I have no idea either. After a few more fights, I slowly backed away. You were no longer the Mocha I knew. I should have just stayed away then, shouldn't I? But I stayed, and honestly, I still don't know why. Studying became a distraction to get away from you. Studied well, studied bad, it didn't matter, as long as I could stay away. Exams rolled around, and frankly, I don't know why I still hung around you, went out with you to study, when you were the very thing making me feel bitter inside.

After the exams, I resolved to stay away. Permanently. Then I got invited back by my junior for dinner, and really, I should have said no. But I didn't. I wanted to feel close with someone else, after all. I told a lie, so that if she wasn't comfortable with me sharing, then I wouldn't implicate her. You were disappointed, weren't you? Of course you were. And so, we cut off contact for the final time.

Hey, at the end, we became nothing, but strangers with memories. All of this, all the experiences, all the pain, all of it comes out whenever I drink anything mocha flavoured.

Mocha. A simple, sweet drink. It was once my favourite drink. No longer do I smile, nor do I think the world a good place. Now, whenever I drink anything mocha, all I can feel, is the bitter taste in my mouth. The bitter taste that will never go away.