Unintentional

Old Flames

Nyree

   I could feel my hair fiercely bouncing behind me as I rushed to the elevator. I could also feel myself going into a panic attack. I could feel it getting worse as I stepped onto the elevator; I had a terrible case of Claustrophobia, but I didn't trust my legs enough to get me down those stairs safely. I braced myself against the railing of the wall as I felt the elevator jolt, finally reaching my desired floor. I rushed out to the parking lot, looking around for the same Uber driver that brought me here. I just wanted to get to my room as fast as possible. "Do me a favor and just say fuck all traffic laws and get me back home", I demanded. The driver was a young guy; probably a few years younger than myself. He looked back at me through the rear view mirror,  giving me this empathetic look that told me he understood. "I can do that".

"Hey mama!", Lacey screamed, jumping off the bed to hug me. "Hey shortie, where's daddy?" I smiled, kissing all over my daughter's face. I'd been crying on the ride back from the hospital and I was trying to seem as cheerful as possible around Lacey, knowing she could always sense when something was wrong. "He in the shower" she replied simply. I nodded and before heading to the bathroom, I gave my child one last smothering kiss before she went back to sleep. I found my fiancee standing in front of the mirror with a towel wrapped around his waist.

   "Hey, how was it?" he asked smiling at me, showing off his perfect teeth and dimples. I remember when I first met Jourdin; he asked me multiple times to go out with him but I never would. I told him no one could be any good with a smile as perfect as his. I just walked past him and sat at the end of the tub, already feeling my eyes beginning to burn. "Terrible", I whispered. Jourdin closed the door and sat beside me, pulling me closer to him. I rested her head on his shoulder as the tears began to fall. "Baby, talk to me, tell me what happened". 

   I didn't know what to tell him. That the man it took 4 years to get over is now finally telling me all the things I've been waiting to hear for so long? That all the feelings I had for Courtney are all coming back and I don't know why? I couldn't do that to him. I knew that kind of pain all too well so I decided to keep it to myself for the time being. He pat my shoulder, forcing me to make eye contact making me cry even more. Jourdin knew that it had to be serious, but all he could do was hold me until I was ready to speak.

                                                                                      Courtney

   I smiled when I saw my friend Jacey opening the door, entering my room. "Still alive I see!" He leaned down over my bed to slap my hand. The force from his hand slapping mine hurt a bit, but I put on a brave face. "How you know I was here?" Jacey laughed and shook his head. "Boy you know what town you in? Besides, everybody knows us. I'm surprised this room ain't filled with ratchets already" he joked. "Nah, I limited visits to family only. And speaking of family, how you get in here?".

   "I used to fuck with the little Spanish chick playing secretary" Jacey winked. I laughed at my best friend and shook my head. He had been the same nigga since the day we first met, which was why I fucked with him so tough. It was hard to find loyalty in people these days. "Still the same. It's good seeing you though". "Yea, I would've came earlier but..." "But what?". Jacey sighed, "I saw Nyree leave your room. I guess seeing her after all this time just caught me off guard". For some reason when Jacey mentioned Nyree, I instantly became jealous, remembering that the two of them used to date after she cut me off completely. "Why'd it catch you off guard?" I asked. "Cause I still love her", Jacey replied simply. I took a deep breath to calm my nerves.

   "You're engaged to Chassidy, you forget her that fast?" I countered. "C'mon Courtney, you know why I'm even doing the shit". "No I don't. please remind me", I muttered. "I mean yea I love Chassidy, but I fell out of love with her years ago. I only proposed cuz I felt like I wasn't getting no younger. Plus, we have junior and since I'm not fucking with nobody else now I figured why not just live with her for his sake.  And honestly, I thought I would never see Nyree again".

   I didn't know what to say. I found it so ironic that both me and my best friend were in love with the same woman. I couldn't even be mad; I treated Nyree like trash and always expected her to stick around like she had nothing better to do with her life, and when she finally had enough and she decided to leave; Jacey came around and showed her better. Should I be mad at my friend? I knew I couldn't be, I never claimed Nyree as my girlfriend; I asked her to lie and say we were just friends just so my hoes wouldn't get mad and stop fuckin with me. I couldn't believe how stupid I had been, and now here was karma standing there in the form of my friend, telling me my worst fear. "You think she still feels the same?" I asked suddenly. 

   That night I got shot, the first person I couldn't help but ask for when I first woke up was her. I felt bad that I wasn't asking for my daughter if anything, but at the same time I don't want her to see me like this. She always saw her daddy as this big compelling figure; I didn't want her to see me as anything else. I needed to see Nyree. I needed to apologize to her, let her know that I regret everything I did to her. Seeing her this morning sitting at my bedside was appalling; I honestly didn't think she would ever come. None of us heard from her in years. 

   I remember the day Jacey came to me after she left. I can honestly say I've never seen Jacey so heartbroken and confused. At the time it pissed me off because I felt like he was rubbing shit in my face. My ego was still bruised up pretty badly and I had put all the blame on him thinking he was the reason she left me. I was ashamed to say I felt better when she left Jacey as well. I figured she would come crawling back to me. I waited days until they eventually became weeks and never got a word from her. Even now there's a voice in the back of my mind that wants to square up with this nigga.

   It was my idea to ask her to come down here. I was the one that wanted to talk to her. Jacey hadn't even wanted her until he saw her again today. It was like he was ruining my plans to win back the girl I should've never wronged; that's what I wanted to think. I knew that wasn't the case though. He truly did love that girl. It hurt like hell to admit, but I knew he did. Nyree made it perfectly clear she cared nothing about me this morning, despite my apologies. I couldn't expect her to forgive me after so much time has passed; things will never be like how they used to be with us. What we had died a long time ago. Jacey however, I knew he still had a chance.

"I think so, but knowing her she won't take me back so easy". "You got that right", I laughed. Jacey looked at him and smirked. "And why the hell you say that?". He hesitated a moment when I didn't come straight out with it. It was going to be a lot to take in; hell I'm still in a daze if anything. I looked Jacey right in the eyes, trying to keep control of my wavering voice. "She's getting married, Spade". It seemed like all the light in his eyes was suddenly gone. "When?". "She told me they're getting married as soon as he graduates school. I think he has just a couple more months left". Jacey suddenly felt the urge to sit. I could tell he was thinking of any possible way to keep her from making a mistake when something hit him, "He's not gonna marry her". "And why won't he?"

"She can't have kids. We've been trying for years and she could never get pregnant because of... what you gave her". I sighed, knowing what I was about to tell my friend would probably break a piece of him. "She has a 3 year old daughter named Lacey. No surrogate, no insemination; all natural". Even though he was hurt, Jacey laughed. I felt left out 'cause I knew he had just made a connection in his head that would help him form some kind of plan, and knowing Jacey he wasn't about to tell me. "Lacey, huh?" he asked, laughing again. "What a beautiful name".