Kermit's POV ~
It was a Tuesday afternoon and like always, I had nothing to do. Miss Piggy wouldn't answer her phone but that wasn't a surprise. My whore of a wife was probably busy getting fucked by Barney, the big fucking purple dinosaur that only calls her 'Pork Pussy' or 'Bacon Bitch'.
Of course I could just divorce her right? Wrong.
If I even merely threatened to file for a divorce she would be gone in a flash and would take the kids with her. People say to never regret anything in life, to live life to the fullest and never look back. You see the thing is , I do have regrets. As a matter of fact, I have a lot of fucking regrets.
I regret knocking up a slutty pig one drunken night and being forced into marriage due to our conception being out of wedlock. I regret the constant drinking to try and make me forget about all of my life's problems. I regret being such a fucking disappointment to my parents and never making them proud. I regret the amount of drugs that I abused weekly and the amount of money that would consume my family's bank account.
Although, I don't regret everything in life, possibly the only thing that I don't regret is meeting him...
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50 Shades Of Green
Romance~NSFW~ This is a semi-satire SMUT written in the point of view of two main characters. Kermit, a depressing frog who lives the life of an alcoholic father with a cheating pig for a wife as well as many, many emotional problems. Shrek, a lonesome ogr...
