UNREQUITED (ONE SHOTS)

You've ruined my life by not being MINE

Five months after staying in that one hell of a building as my workplace, gustong-gusto ko nang mag give up. That place is toxic. I know i've never been to any jobs since this job is my first but I know a toxic place when I see one. They gave us a contract to sign that says we'll only be rendering this amount of hours and we agreed and accepted it. But in the end, they'll give you forced overtime. I mean, yes I do know wala akong karapatang magreklamo kasi naghahanap ako ng trabaho at sabi nila this is how things work here. Pero diba sana they could have told us na lang na we only get one day as rest day. Ba't pa nila sinabing we have 2 days off if they'll make- oh no wait let me rephrase that. Force. If they'll FORCE us to work on the first day off? Ugh! If only I have the choice to resign I would have done it sooner🙄

Anyway, hahaha sorry for ranting about my shitty job on the first paragraph of this story. Ay teka, to tell you honestly I wouldn't call this a story since this is some sort of.. idk? Diary entry? Except this isn't a diary.

So as I was saying, sa loob ng ilang months na yon, I just felt hopeless. Yung feeling na gumigising ka na lang kasi kailangan. Hindi dahil gusto mo. Yung wala ka na talagang motivation para mabuhay. I often imagine na if I ever get hit by a car or something, I'd thank the driver for doing it.  I actually don't know the reason why I feel like this. One day, I just woke up feeling nothing. Numb. Emptiness. Nothing.

Everything changed when I caught a glimpse of him. Well, technically when HE caught a glimpse of ME. I just pretended I didn't notice that he was staring. Our work stations were facing opposite to each other, and we were sitting back to back pero hindi naman gaanong magkalapit but still close enough na he could see me sitting on my swivel, just typing away some words on the computer. I felt oblivious at first but then when I realized someone was looking at me, I looked over my shoulder and that's when I saw him looking at me. We stared at each other for a few seconds and then I was the first one to break contact. Me being so clueless about this just shook my head and disregarded him. Baka ngayon lang ako nakita dito kaya naninibago kasi may bagong mukha nanaman sa office.

Everytime I got out of my seat to take a break or something, I could still feel his gaze. It was actually the first time I wasn't creeped out when someone looks at me longer than 1 minute. It was the month of December when that happened. Few days before Christmas actually. Don't ask kung bakit kami nagtatrabaho hanggang sa araw ng pasko. Alam nyo na yon.

After that, almost everyday whenever I go inside the office to start my shift, he'll just be there, following me with his eyes.

His dark orbs. I haven't been able to look at it closely since we don't have any physical contact kasi nga hindi naman kami magkakilala. Pero there were times na the closest distance we had was when we get to pass by each other tuwing lunch breaks. With his clear white complexion, I could see he has really dark eyes. Black eyes na may mixture ng gray. He also has thick lashes for a guy. Dreamy lashes surrounding his beautiful eyes. Sobrang pungay na maiinggit lahat ng nagsusuot ng fake eyelashes. And his hair? Jet black and slick. So perfectly arranged and so neat that you could have him mistaken as a CEO or something. Or maybe even a royalty. He's so prim and proper that it left me wondering why he ended up working for this shit of a company.

The same action happens almost everyday. Titingin, iiwas, titingin ulit. I think yung naiba lang is one time, I was on my station talking to someone on the phone when I heard whispering sa may bandang likod ko. And i knew it was him. Why? Kasi I can see him from my peripheral vision when I faced at the side. Let's just call him gorgeous kasi hindi ko alam name niya. (If you love Taylor Swift you'll know the reference) He was talking with the girl na palagi niyang kasama. Girlfriend niya siguro? Hindi ko alam. At hindi ko rin alam kung bakit naririnig ko kung ano yung pinaguusapan nila. Ganito na ba talaga ako ka chismosa?😂 Habang yung kausap ko sa telepono ay talak ng talak, ako naman ay naka focus lang sa usapan sa likod.