LOGBOOK [EXO]

If we ever love again (finale.)

I found myself again at the same spot in front of our old high school building. I couldn't sleep last night because my stupid actions are haunting me.

I wasn't able to convey what I meant.

I just repeated, what happened back then.

'You know, you have a habit of interrupting yourself when you're speaking your mind.'

'I can't do anything about it if you don't tell me.'

That's right. Call me cliché. But sometimes I do believe in signs. Hence If I happened to meet him here by chance again, I will tell him. I don't know how to face him after running away like that yesterday.. but I will tell him.

Like it matters.

What.

Does it matter?

I feel a lump from my throat. Theres something heavy in my chest. Because it matters a lot for me.

But tonight if he won't pass by our old school, then it's not meant to be. I will stop tormenting myself about our past, and completely move on from Kyungsoo. Maybe this is also a way to save my face from rejection and another humiliation.

Just let me relish this place and our memories one last time.

I gazed at the familiar building, that window where our seats was, and the bench where we used to eat our box lunch.

Let's not do this again.

Let's meet a little less, let's hope a little less

The street where we walked together, the unbloomed cherry blossom tree where you first confessed, our favorite spot where we used to talk about our future dreams.

Let's not make many promises

Let's only make light memories that we can throw away.

I waited for couple of hours not sure what I am doing exactly. He likes someone already, this is so wrong.

The gloomy sky warns me that it's going to rain.

Not yet please. I somehow want to stay even just a little bit longer.

As if in prompt response, the heaven drizzled rain. What a hard way to tell me off.

I need a shed!

My visions are blurry from heavy rains, good thing my feet still remembers the waiting shed located at back of our school. It's far from here because it's technically on the other side, but that's the only roof I could think of.

I ran as fast as I can while protecting my bag from getting soaked.

By the time I reached the shed, my whole being are now drenched. It's so damn cold! Good thing I'm the only person here. My stubbornness led me like this. Stupid. Now how can I go home? It looks like the rain won't stop soon, and I'm so cold.

I crouched down on the floor hugging my knees. I wanted to cry but the rain is already doing it for me.

Right. I should stop all my delusions from our past. It's better this way.

I just hope what we had before was real, then that's all I need. I only wish you happiness Kyungsoo.

I hope the sky knows my heart.