Heartbreak is my favorite kind of pain

13//LANY

Cold Breeze

Twinkling Stars

Moon that shines so bright

It is so romantic especially enjoying it with someone you really love.

"It is still romantic to do this but it doesn't feel the same this time. Something felt different." He started.

"It won't feel the same anymore. Never it will be." I said while looking at the star.

"I remember the first time we went here to see the sky. We're both happy. How I wish we can be happy like how we used to be." I can feel that he is looking at me.

"I'm sorry." That's all I can say.

"Where did we go wrong?" He asked.

"I don't know." I answered.

"I just can't believe that we're here the same time when you told me that you love me but today you're saying goodbye." He emotionlessly said.

"I wasn't saying goodbye. I was begging you to let me go."

"And I'm sorry because I kept holding on because I can't let you go." His eyes are beginning to glim.

"And I'm sorry that I'm selfish to make you selfless!" Frustration is now clear in my voice.

"You know that I can't let you go because I fucking love you!" His voice is filled with different emotions.

"Saying I love you is like a poison that I'm trying to spit out but won't."

"I always imagined of seeing you walking down the aisle. Be the woman who will I cherish and love from that day and beyond. Thinking on how foolish I look like while smiling dreaming about our future that will never happen." If I'm still Inlove with you maybe that will make my heart beats faster than the fastest race car.

"You sounded like a teenager!" we both laugh.

"I remember you scolding me every single time because I kept smiling when I'm with you. I just can't hide my happiness." He smiled while looking at me.

"I was your happiness but you made me your world. Find someone who will also make you her world." I told him sincerely.

"How can you be sincerely hurting me?"

"How can you not let me go even though you're hurting?" I asked.

"Maybe because I'm that stupid."

"So am I."

Silenced that lasted for 15 minutes that felt like years.

"Can I tell you everything before I finally let you go?"

"Go on. I'll listen,I promise." I said and looked at him trying to keep eye contact.

"When we started dating everything felt so perfect. How everything fits. How your hand felt against mine. How your lips tasted that I can't remember now. How I planned everything for the both of us. Our dream wedding. I'm actually planning to propose next week. 8 years since the day I first saw you. I want to break that 7 years curse but damn it won't happen anymore. I love you. I do and I will always will. I'm sorry if I made you my world that I can't escape. Maybe I can let you go. Not now surely but one day probably. At that time, I'll just laugh remembering how stupid I was. Maybe if I'll see you again, I'll smile again and say "Look at me now. I'm not that guy anymore. I finally know my worth" or some shits like that. I promise that I won't be that bastard who will drown himself with alcohol and act like a dumb fuvk. I promise I'll be better for you and for the person who will love me just like what you said." He is smiling while tears are flowing on his cheeks.

"I'll wait for that time to come. Now let go of me and the memories."

"Can I ask for one last hug before I let you go."

And that final hug lasted for no one knows how long.

Where did we go wrong? I know we started out alright
Where did we go wrong? I swear I knew we'd last this time
Where did we go wrong? Oh did you, did you change your mind?
How could you change your mind?
Who got inside your mind?