dm me? || namjin⚡

27

it had been three days since jimin, taehyung and jeongguk had supposedly "talked things through", but jin was more worried than ever about jimin.

having never had a particularly good friend before namjoon, he couldn't relate to jimin's pain. and although he sure could see it, and it hurt him to see jimin hurt, it hurt him more when he didn't see jimin full-stop.

which was what had been happening today.

jimin hadn't left his room since jin had woken up, and it was now six pm. after being told by namjoon not to suffocate him, jin had spent his day off wringing his fingers and pacing up and down the hall, waiting for a peep from jimin.

by 6.21pm, he'd knocked on jimin's door.

"jiminie?" he asked tentatively, edging closer and closer to the door. "are you okay?"

there came no response, and jin was panicking.

he eventually mustered up the courage to open the door, and he peeked his head around it. the room was suffocated by darkness, and after his eyes adjusted, jin could see a mound of blanket and pillows that he assumed was enveloping jimin on the bed.

"jiminie..." he murmured, softly making his way across the room and sitting on the edge of the bed, "what's going on? talk to me. i want to help you."

the lump shifted, and two eyes followed by a nose and a mouth were revealed.

"jin hyung," jimin said seriously, "i really want to die."

those five words hit jin deeper than any others ever had. deeper than any of the crude remarks his bullies had made at school, even deeper than any of the abuse he tolerated from his father. jimin, his precious little brother, the boy he had raised from nothing, wanted to end his own life?

"hey, come on, now," jin tried, but his voice broke. "you don't mean that, right?"

there came no response, but somehow the silence spoke louder than any words could have.

"oh, chim," he sighed, his voice low with sympathy, "sit up, okay?" the bed-sheets began to rustle and eventually, with his brother's help, jimin had shuffled into a sitting position. "you do know that these two boys aren't your be-all and end-all, right?" jin was struggling to find the right words - the idea that jimin really wanted to die because of this stupid little fight pierced jin's heart. "you're worth so much more than these two boys. you're worth everything! you're my baby brother, how could i even think to live a life that you're not in?"

jimin sniffled, and jin watched the tears that slowly rolled down his ashen cheeks. "oh, chipmunk," he murmured, pulling the trembling boy into his embrace and rocking him slightly, "you do hear me, right? when the slightest thing goes wrong, you can't immediately jump on the suicidal thoughts train. and, before you say it - i know that this isn't the slightest thing for you, or even for me. but you have so so much to live for. you know that right?"

jimin nodded into jin's hoodie. "like you," came his broken voice, "and namjoon hyung, and even kookie and tae."

"exactly," jin let out with a relieved sigh, "even kookie and tae. you know how much it would kill them if you weren't here. they'd beat themselves up about it, too. and you love them too much - love us too much - to put us all through that, right?"

jimin nodded again, and jin felt his heart clench. "i love you so much, gummy-bear," he whispered after a while, "how much do i love you?"

jimin giggled a little and pulled away to look up at his brother. "to the end of the universe and back."

"that's right, jiminie, that's right."

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ik ik ik this is so late and so short I'm so sorry it's my fault I'm just STRUGGLING to stay on top of school work alevels are TOO hard. I'll try to be more consistent, I'm so sorry