At a point I started to wonder ' where did I go wrong ' I thought to myself. Things just seem to be very different these days, my intellectual abilities just seem to be declining. The things I would condemn have today become my hobbies. The way I think, the way I view everything around me, just went from the view of a Wiseman who had encountered and gone through a lot in life, to the view of a young lad who is naive and ignorant of what this world entails. How this life works, not just to live but how to survive, he doesn't know all this. Everything is just crumbling in my head. ' What went wrong ' , I said to myself. ' Have I missed a step or have I lost it ' I continued. Nothing seems to be going my way . The things I love to do and the things I was always reluctant to do have switched places, now it's like things weren't the other way around. I feel I'm falling into an abyss, no one's there to give me helping hand. I feel like I'm all alone left out of the life and activities surrounding me . I feel only God and the love of my life can help me through these dark times. I have refused to call out the names of those around me , because I don't think they have the answers I seek. But suddenly I feel like someone is holding on to me with strength beyond the imagination of man. I hold on to that One that is trying to pull me up ... but I'm not moving. My body has adapted to this lifestyle being in this place for far too long. I try to free my body from this bondage, but something keeps holding me back. I continue to push and try to cure myself of this disease of a life I'm living. I keep on holding on , for falling any further into this demonic hole would have a catastrophic effect on me and all I ever dreamt of since I was a kid. It'll bring destruction to the future of me and my beloved, and that alone could be the end of me. Everyone would leave me turning their faces away causing me to fall deeper into my worst nightmares. I look up to that helping hand to show me the way forward, for falling backwards would be...
