HER HIDDEN WORDS

I can be a Hero

I can be a Hero

Life is not always about laughter and music. Lapses must be fulfill. Life is not about depending on others or tapping somebody's shoulder. You should learn to let go things just to zoom out the whole picture. You don't have to be a scientist or a mathematician. Technologies and numbers are just part of our illusion including those persons that crosses our diary entry for a day. Friendships? Lovers? They are just part of our illusion. We make things ideal to cope up on ideal things which gives heartaches in everyone. We tend to replace tears by cracking a joke just to emphasize how strong we are outside their naked eye. We even fool ourselves just to paint a beautiful smile that matters on surrounding. The passage of life are destined to remain like this. To remain static and ideal. We care for our clothes but never on our character. We depend our identity based on the society's taste buds. But whom we're fooling? We're out of tickets for that show. Let's forget the stretch of their tongues. Watch yourselves in front of a mirror. Is that you you're watching? Does the learning from other's judgment make you a better one? Or you just made yourself worst? We can't just point our fingers then make a sound of disgust. Humans made wheels but wheels are far from human. Manipulating things and process of life is a bad habit that must be polished. We're no longer kids either to imitate then summon another you that will feed the society's expectations. During my grade schools, I remember my mom keeps on reminding me to outweigh the biggest fish in our classroom. I made no effort but still, I can't. I keep on telling my mom, "Mas magaling siya. Hindi ko kaya." She made a face then utter bunches of words but only one line entered my system and that is "Kaya mo kung isasakripisyo mo ang isa sa mga bagay na humahati sa oras mo." She even told me that I could be better if I would to. It's true. I did surpass my toughest classmate but still, humans are born with continuous needs and wants. My mom keeps on demanding then dictating how I should be as a person. I was tired. Being a good daughter is very tiring so I stop at the middle of her praises. I realized one thing. I owe her my life. She's a family with a beautiful picture for my future. But her ambition out powered my limits. When my classmates did some chitchat about their childhood days, I was part of the circle but I'm mentally out of my seat. One question pops on my mind repeatedly. I can be a hero in my mom's mind but why can't I be a hero for myself? Does my obedience on her is still on balance? Who am I? Do I really know who I am? Did I fought life then surpass the given challenges? Am I that dependent enough to let my mom hold my pen then composed a perfect story? Later, I realized I was never me. I'm just a product of my mom's ambition. I'm a good student of others but fail to be a good teacher for myself. I love my mom. I love my family. Following orders is a good practice but I need to explore. I want a natural knowledge on my own doings and research. I want to be a hero not just for everyone but also for myself. I don't need clear skin and beautiful faces like those typical teenagers ever dream of. I don't have to went abroad then pleased everyone for my big salaries. I want a fairness. Fairness for my own choices and mistakes. I want to wear a crown with my mom's guidance and my own path to follow. As a future servant of my country, I want a flawed story to tell for my future students to enlightened them that you don't have to be a perfect daughter or son. All you need is self worth and respect to achieve success. Because depending your identity on other's perspective won't lessen the judgment of society. Society is society and will remain worst as part of our learning. Be proud of your own craft and make it echo. Then lastly, why seek outside the box if you knew the answer never reaches it's border? Appreciate reality. A bit of self respect and selflessness will do. Just always remember that illusion leads human into a very risky situation. Always press a button that will set limits on everything.