Look at me

Stupid in love

Still Ethan's pov

He sinks back into the ground, curling up into a tiny ball again.

"This is the worst day ever, I mean... it wasn't all bad" his mind raced back towards the passionate kiss they shared.

"I had no idea Mark was so... intimate? I've seen Mark kiss Amy before, and yeah every time it felt as if a knife was stabbing my heart, but I never knew why. I guess I do now. But the way he kissed me, I'm just so shocked that Mark would give up everything for me. Also since when was Mark gay? I thought he loved Amy, how could he do this?"

He lifts his head up for a second resting his chin on his knees, his eyes puffy and red, tears streaming down his face as he sniffles into the cold air surrounding him.

"If I just kept my fucking mouth shut, I could've avoided all of this... this, this is all my fault how could I do something so stupid, what's wrong with me" he yells to himself, not loud enough for others to hear, even though no ones around.

"And just like that 2 amazing people gone from my life, my shitty fucked up life. Ugh why does life have to suck so much, why can't it just be more simple, why did I even move here... Mark. He changed my life completely, and for once made me feel safe and welcomed, and my dumbass comes along and fucks everything up." (Sorry for all the language if you don't like that or whatever, but I'm trying to make it more like Ethan himself who does curse a lot, so sorry)

"Ughhh why do I have to be so stupid" he yells louder getting angry at himself. "You need to learn how to control your god damn emotions Ethan... or one day your gonna get yourself hurt" he mumbles to himself a little softer this time.

He looks over and sees Spencer leaning over the water. Ethan wipes his tears before standing up and walking over to him.

"What a curious lil pup" he tries to pretend everything's fine, trying not to worry him too much, 'cause he can easily pick up on others emotions. But Spencer doesn't buy it. He looks at Ethan's sunken, tear stained cheeks and his puffy red eyes. He tilts his head to the side confused and lets out a small whimper. Ethan sits down again, his legs crossed under him, Spencer lays next to him, propping his head on Ethan's knee and looking up at him. "I'll be ok" he whispers and pats his head.