The Perpetual Association of Mafia Wives

Fiona

Fiona sighed in content as she chewed on her pasta, having taken almost three decades to perfect the recipe, she was glad that she could rest in peace know her family wouldn't be poisoned.

"Why the long faced, it's just macaroni. Why, have you never had pasta before? My late husband, Salvatore, my his soul rest in peace. He loved pasta. Especially home made pasta.

"When we were young, he'd make the most delicious spaghetti bolognese. And we'd spend the even naked in silk sheets as we fed each other pasta. Then when the plate was empty, he'd put it aside, pull me close, and make passionate love to me.

"You see, pasta is a very indulgent dish, so I don't understand why you are having a problem with the mine."

"Grandma." Philomena giggled as she entered the kitchen with her twin brother Philip. "They're not going to heat it if the know you poisoned it."

Fiona beamed up at her grandchildren, they'd grown so much and were taking on their mothers role as capo impeccably.

"Oh dear child, it's better that getting my lovely rug stained with their blood." She replied, gesturing to the gun on the table. "Besides, I'm a lady, I would not taint my decency by using such barbaric things."

Philip snorted. "Sure, like that time you fired a bazooka out the back yard because a prisoner escaped."

Fiona shook her head. "I had to replace the grass completely. So don't make me do it again and eat your lunch."

The two men shook their heads.

"My grandmother is the lady of the house, only my brother and I have the ordacity to defy her. So you shit faces better eat up." Philomena deadpanned, fixing them with an icy galre.

"Very well then." Fiona sighed.

The twin then moved around the table to force feed the prisoners as their grandmother sipped daintily at her tea. Once the were dead, the worked together to clear the mess.

"That would make 53 people who have died in this kitchen." Fiona said, untying her apron. "Oh well. Don't we have a party to go to?"

"Oh yes grandma. You go ahead, Philip and I still have some business to attend to."

Fiona shook her head in disapproval. "You can't lie to me. Incest is frowned upon for a reason."

"But grandma we-"

"Save it. I know you both have different father's, but that doesn't make it any better. But then again, I did also have an affair with my brother and then married my cousin soo... You do you I guess."

Then she left them, humming a tune as she went to get ready.