It's late the sun went down hours ago. I'm so tired but I'm afraid to sleep. I can't stop thinking about what happened earlier today. My thoughts are running wild through my brain.
Juice why did they have to give me juice?
Juice is filled with sugar and carbs and worst of all calories!
They said I fainted.
I didn't faint, I tripped.
I don't remember it happening...
I couldn't have fainted, could I?
Are they going to tell my mom?
Would my mom even care if they told her?
No, I don't think she would.
I pull my plush grey blanket all the way over my head in an attempt to keep my body warm, but it's no use. I am permanently cold. You'd think that the two long-sleeved shirts, fleece-lined sweater, the leggings I wear underneath my fuzzy pajama bottoms, and wool winter socks would be plenty to keep me warm. But it isn't. My body remains colder than this winters first snow.
It's hard to remember what life was like before. Before my Mother left my Dad, before high school and middle school, before the twins moved into their dream colleges before I began to change before I became distant.
I hear the familiar sound of my alarm telling me once again to prepare myself for all of the daily events. I reach my hand out and feel around for the snooze button but I'm unable to find it.
The alarm clock continues its morning symphony.
BEEP, BEEP, BEEP!
BEEP, BEEP, BEEP!
I throw a pillow in frustration and this time I reach straight for the power cord ripping it from the wall. I will not be attending school today.
I lay my head back and let out a sigh of relief because today I won't have to pretend that everything is okay. I won't have to walk through the heavy metal doors of the school building and stand face to face with the people who witnessed yesterday's incident.
It was so embarrassing, they treated me as if I was a small vulnerable child that couldn't possibly care for herself. I hate the way that nurse looked at me. I saw something in her eyes, I think it was disappointment. No, disgust maybe? Or did she only pity me? I hope it wasn't a look of pity. I hate when people pity me.
I turn my face towards the window and allow the sunlight to shine over my cold porcelain face.
For a second my skin feels warm.
For a second my lips curve up and I'm smiling.
For a second my thoughts subside.
For a second my body relaxes.
For a second I am free.
YOU ARE READING
Paper Wings
Fiksi RemajaIs beauty only skin deep? I guess that depends on how we are raised... Have you ever floated endlessly in a sea of thoughts? Trapped, stumbling within your own mind. Go ahead, scream. No one can hear you. These demons are in beaded deep in my t...
