January 13th, 2020 9:17am
It's a cold day in Denver, having snowed the night before about a dick's length of snow. The sun just breaking over the horizon beams into Brandon's dirty window and across his face waking him up. He groans and rolls over bundling himself up in his way too many Minecraft blankets. But who's gonna judge him? Ani? Psshhh, she's visiting family.
He grabs his phone from his nightstand to check his endless notifications and scroll through Reddit and admiring all his karma. After what felt like 10 minutes he checks the time, 10:34, he feels his stomach growl like a school girl who's been tied up in a basement for 6 days. So he gets up, wraps himself in a blanket, and heads downstairs to make himself some breakfast.
But when he hits the third to last step he trips over the blanket and falls into the wall and crashes onto the ground at the bottom of the stairs making the floors emit a sound that even Tchaikovsky would hesitate to put into a composition.
"Fuck! Shit, I think I twisted my ankle." He shouts in pain. He crawls over to the bathroom to look for ace wrap™. He rummages through all the drawers and cubbards to no avail. Like every other young adult, he had not planned ahead except for 3 hello Kitty Band-Aids. He's gonna have to go to the store.
Brandon limps back upstairs to get dressed, doubling socking his bad ankle in an attempt to stabilize it. So with his ankle throbbing, stomach growling, and face deader than Stalin he leaves the house and heads to Walgreens.
Thankfully most of the sidewalks have been plowed by now so he didn't have to worry about dragging his foot through the snow too much, but there's still ice slipperier than my grasp on sanity everywhere. About halfway there Brandon passes under a bridge, listening to the mechanical hum of cars above. Just as he's about to get out from under it and icicle breaks off from the bridge and plummets like my grades junior year towards him. But he spots a $5 bill in the snow and stops to pick it up like a monkey grabbing grapes. The icicle lands just inches away as he grabs the bill, scaring him, making him slip and land on his back on the cold, uncaring concrete.
Laying there, $5 in his hand and a pain in his back, he slowly sits up defeated by the barely started day. But how much worse could it get he thinks, and he has $5 extra dollars, he can get some monsters with that. He finally stands up after about 3 minutes contemplating his unasked for existence. His back still really hurts but he can pick up an icyhot™ as well. A bit slower now he continues on his way to Walgreens. 3 more blocks. He passes a few crazy drifters but he safely makes it.
While in the bandage isle he's approached by a woman. "Hey, you're a YouTuber aren't you? I thought all of you lived in LA." She laughs, "so what are you doing here?"
"Oh, yeah I used to live in Cali but it wasn't for me," he says shyly, rubbing the back of his head, he wasn't ready for actual human interaction today, "I'm just getting some ace wrap, twisted my ankle on the stairs."
"Oof that sucks, well if you ever need someone to rub them feet give me a call" she says handing Brandon her number on an old receipt and giving him a smirk that can only be described as why was she let out of mental hospital?
"Ahh, thanks" he says confused and limps away after quickly grabbing the ace wrap.
He picks up the icyhot™, some monsters, and a breakfast sandwich before heading to the counter. He pays and finally heads out into the cold streets and back home.
By the time he gets home it's already noon and he's starving. He throws the sandwich into the microwave and sits down at the counter to wrap his swollen orange of an ankle and apply the icyhot™ to his back more sore than a twinks ass.
The microwave beeps and he pulls his breakfast out with lust for that hot hot sandwich. Like a horse to feet, he shoves it down his throat with passion, taking no time to savor it.
But he should have, because between the all the eggs, bacon, and cheese there were hundreds of tiny metal shavings. A mistake at the factory? A disgruntled Walgreens employee? A welder trying to off someone else who buys a breakfast sandwich from that Walgreens everyday but was running late due to the snow the night before? We may never know. But what we do know is that Brandon is on the floor, chocking on an important part of a well balanced breakfast and his own blood as the metal cuts into his esophagus and stomach.
And there he layed, the icyhot™ working too well at relaxing his back muecles so he couldn't get up, and no one home to hear his muffled cries for help that get weaker and weaker as blood fills his body cavity and eggs block his airways.
**
A week later Ani returns from her trip a bit sick, not noticing the smell of spoiled gamer. She finds Brandon's undrank monsters and the girls phone number on the counter untouched. She can tell something's wrong.
"Brandon? Dude where are you?" She yells, but there is no response from the rotting corspe in the kitchen. Ani notices the flies, following them to their source, "Brandon I leave for 2 weeks and we get flies? What the fuck is wrong with yo-" she stops as she finally reaches the source.
"Oh shit, he's fucking dead"
