Born to Die

Derek knows that no attachments would make this... thing, this situation... easier. That no hope would help to not prolong the process. If he's already alone, then what's the point?

But sometimes you can't help but fall for the wrong person. To see a light when you thought only darkness could veil. And sometimes it's hard not to hope.

"You are absolutely stunning." Stiles absently curled Derek's chest hair in his fingers. "Beautiful."

Derek smiled. No one had ever called him beautiful. No one had even taken the time to notice. But Stiles was different. Stiles was observant and into the little details. And Derek liked that.

Stiles ran his hands up and over Derek's biceps and down into the hollow abyss between Derek's neck and shoulders. Memorizing his way around Derek's body. Touching and finding places that most people had never seen.

With drowsy eyes, Stiles ran his fingers through Derek's wavy, black hair. Scraping his blunt nails across the endless patch of hair. Every once and a while tickling Derek's neck with his fingertips.

Ecstasy. That's what Derek felt.

Derek didn't do anything when the doctors had laid the word 'terminal' upon him. Nothing was good, emotions bad.

That's what Derek believed, until Stiles had started to trickle into his life. It was subtle at first. Then major to end with. And Derek's views on emotions slightly shifted. Maybe some were okay.

The purple wolfsbane flowers that lie on the cold stone didn't remind him of his mother. They reminded him of death. And death he had come to accept. Death was easy. Thinking about it was not.

And maybe that's why he reminded himself to not feel. And that's defiantly why Stiles' warm hand was holding his clammy one, holding onto the feelings that Derek couldn't bear any longer.

Derek's bleak features never swayed to betray any feeling. Then he walked away, leaving Stiles at the cold rock.

Behind the frosted over windows of his Camaro, he saw Stiles kneeling by the tombstone. His lips moving as if he was talking. Why did Stiles have the gut to do that and not Derek? Stiles hadn't even met the body buried six feet under.