Everyone Else Can See It

Jason and I are best friends. I mean, come on! We've known eachother since the end of elementary school, we've seen eachother at our worst, and best. I've seen him cry, sleep, laugh, smile, throw up(gross, but I've seen it,) fall apart, worship God, and shine in a talent show in 9th grade.  He's always been there for me, and I will always be there for him. He knows some of my darkest secrets, and I know every detail about him.

Sure, I've always had other kinds of feelings for him since we first met. Does he know? Oh, Hell no. He'd never go for the girl that's "like his little sister." I've thought about telling him, but haven't done it. Nope! All of our friends in Church know that I like him. Seriously, I'm surprised he hasn't found out. Thank God he hasn't. I've watched him date all these beautiful girls for a couple years now, since I'm 16 and he's 17. I think it literally stabs me in the gut sometimes. Just sitting back and watching these girls look at him like he's some sort of star. Yes, of course he's the most amazing person I've ever met, and if anyone hurts him this "little sister" will need to get a little authoritative. But seriously girls? He's popular, yeah. He'll probably help you win Homecoming Queen and he's definitely cute. But there's more to him than a guy who's on the football team, sings and plays guitar. No girls want to get to know that side of Jason and it just kills me to watch. 

Like the fact that he likes to argue. And the fact he writes great songs, and is really passionate about God. He wants to be in the army. He makes a lot of witty jokes about 5 seconds after the conversation's moved on. He's a hystercially slow, but doesn't usually get bad grades.  He is a little cocky and is basically always playing an instrument in his free time. He's really deep sometimes. He's just a wonderful guy. I've liked him since we first met. Now I think it might be love.

He can never find out.

 Jason'sPOV.

Ally is hilarious. She snorts whenever she laughs, it's adorable,  and she actually hates that part about her laugh. Especially whenever we eat together at a resturaunt. She thinks it's embarassing. Yes, we eat together sometimes. Like lunch, dinner, brunch. After school, before school. Before church, after church. No, we are not dating! She's my best friend. A lot of girls do not understand that, so they get jealous. You have no idea how many girls I've had to turn down because of our friendship. Oddly enough, I really don't mind. I'd rather hang out with Ally than any girl, really.  She's incredible. She's probably the sweetest person I've ever met. And absolutely the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. Of course, she has her bad side. But she even looks cute when she's crying and feels insecure. Yes, I've seen that side of her. She looks cute when she nags you. Yeah, she can definitely nag. It gets annoying, but I love the sound of her nagging because it means she is near me. She is speaking to me, and that's a great thing to me. To be near such a beautiful girl.

Some feelings have been developing recently, other than this admiration of the beautiful girl she is, and always has been. I don't know how to desribe it... Just recently, when she laughs, it sounds even more gorgeous when I caused it.  When she smiles, I hope that it'll stay that way forever. When I see her at church pastoring to kids, I want to watch her passion for God grow even more. I love talking to her about music, because she really has a love for it. I like spending time with her, more than anyone except God. We really flow well in conversation. I like reading the few poems she lets me, because she's an amazing poet. When I see her cry I want the tears to go away, and for her to smile again. I want to help her be happy. I want to comfort her when she's sad. But more than anything, I want to be with her.

So maybe these feelings have been here for longer than a couple months. But it doesn't mean anything. Does it?