Silent Bullets

1 - Dead Angel Wings

Today…

Today is February 14th.

Do you know what February 14th is?

Yeah.  Valentine’s Day.

Well you know what else?

I hate Valentine’s Day.

I will always hate Valentine’s Day.

You know why?

Here’s why.

The snow settled on the floor of what I thought was the perfect Valentine’s Day.  Everything was white, and beautiful, like an angel wing’s feathers had fallen onto the ground as it took flight for the first time and coated the earth in a majestic, fluffy cape.

It had been 11 months since the words: “Will you let me fall in love with you?” came out of his month.

“Tadase-kun!” I shouted, waving to him happily.

He walked over to me, but, unlike he was moments ago, he wasn’t smiling.

“Tadase-kun? Is something wrong?” I asked, uncertain of what was going to happen.

“Yes.  Something is very wrong,” he began, in a cold voice that the Tadase I knew never could’ve used.

“W-what is it, then?”

“You know what’s wrong.  I’m sure you do.  And until you decide, it’s over.  This won’t work between us,” he smiled bitterly, “So.  Me or him?”

“You or wh-who… Tadase-kun?”

His voice was guarded at this point, and I determined that that was the source of the coldness in his words.  “Me or Ikuto,” he stated blandly, as if he didn’t care.

I stood in silence.  Eternity passed, yet he and I still stood in silence.  Another eternity passed, and the bitterness was still evident in his eyes.  A lifetime passed, and he coughed and turned away.

“I guess it’s goodbye then, Hinamori Amu.”

“W-wait! Tadase!” I begged.

“I’ve waited long enough.”

And with that, he spun on his heels and stormed away.

I’m not sure if he wiped his eyes or not.  I saw his arm come up to his eyes, but I don’t know what for.  Maybe he was swatting a fly away.  In the dead of the winter.  Yeah.  Because flies totally fly around in the dead of the winter, right?

Moving on.  Cue flashback.

I didn’t know how long I stood there, watching his silhouette fade into the blanket of white.  I didn’t know how long it took for me to comprehend exactly what just happened.  I didn’t know how long it took until my legs fell under me and I was on my knees still staring at the same spot where I last saw his shadow.  I didn’t know how long it took for my heart to freeze into nothingness and then crack into a million pieces.  I didn’t know how long it took for me to start crying and after that I didn’t know how long it took me to stop crying.  I didn’t know how my legs didn’t freeze off me being buried in the freezing cold snow.  Cold like his eyes.  Cold like his voice.  Cold like his heart.

And once he was gone, I knew it was forever.

The only thing I had left of him was the taste of the chocolate he gave me that still lingered on my tongue.  The only thing that could rebuild me was someone who was such an expert with legos as to fix all the broken lego pieces of my broken lego heart and make them fit together and turn it into a living, beating one.