I was searching for happiness. I had to escape the chaos that was my family. I was the product of a severely dysfunctional family. And somehow I had turned out introverted. Despite the many efforts of my mother to have me come out of my shell. I smiled at all the right times. And I agreed whenever possible. I thought college was my chance to make someone of myself. To stop blending and stick out. And I succeeded far too much. I met a girl named Sarah my freshman year. She was short and thin. And every bit as bad as she looked.
Her dark choppy short hair accentuated her thin face and straight nose. She had a small mouth that seemed to always be frowning. And dark blue eyes that seemed laid back and yet, still alert. The kind of girl that could lead a girl to do stupid things. Especially a girl like me who lived her whole life stuck on the outside. I went to all the parties with her. I drank with her and smoked with her and ignored my studies my whole freshman year. My general knowledge of things led me through with B's in all my classes.
It was a Friday night when things started to change between me and Sarah. We were drinking Patron. I lost count of the shots after a while. I was sitting there looking at Sarah. Trying to concentrate on her face. While the world around me spun in strange circles. I squinted. Felt a little bile come up and decided it was time to quit. I told Sarah I wasn't feeling well and she called me a wuss with a huge grin. I remember thinking that I thought it strange she wasn't as drunk as I was. She could always hold her alcohol better. She reached into her pocket and pulled out the joint she had rolled earlier and lit it up. I watched her breathe in the funky smoke and let it out in big puffs. I was a bitmesmerizedby the rings she blew.
I felt the alcohol begin to lose affect after a minute. My head lost a bit of it's fuzziness and after using the bathroom, secretly throwing up the contents of tequila in my stomach, I felt significantly better. I sat down on the floor next to Sarah. We were at some grungy hotel room close to campus. Neither one of us were stupid enough to be irresponsible on campus and risk expulsion. The hotel was trash. I doubted the cleanliness of the sheets and cringed to think about how many people had sex on the bed that I sat next to. Sarah and I started partying alone more recently. We used to go to huge parties but she started talking about how all the people at the parties were super boring and lame and she would rather just hang out and get trashed with me.
I thought it was super awesome that I had found such a good friend so quickly. Even if it did mean going out of my comfort zone a little. Previous to going to college I had not even thought about doing any kind of drugs or alcohol. In fact, I was an advocate at my school for anti substance use. Do to the kind of life I had with my family. So what had brought me here to a dirty hotel room with a girl of questionable ethics and motives? I would have to say that a genuine hatred of my old boring self was reason enough.
Sarah paused mid hit and looked at me through glossy eyes. She seemed to give pause before handing me the joint she had been smoking. I took a slow drag and let it calm my body. I had learned early not to cough no matter what it took. It was sort of a sign of weakness. A few more hits gained me a nice high and Sarah smiled. Despite the heavy makeup she constantly wore, it was a sweet smile. She took the joint and set it in the ashtray. Then she leaned towards me. Slowly. It took me a minute to realize what she was doing. And by then, her lips had already touched mine. It was a soft kiss. Not the sort of kiss you would expect from a girl like Sarah.
Confusion clouded my mind. What was Sarah up to? Before I knew it, her hands we softly shoving me to the ground beneath her. She opened her mouth and I let her tongue slowly into my mouth. My eyes shut. Oh wow. She tasted surprisingly sweet. I urged my tongue to meet hers as her hands went to my waist and she straddled me. She slowly moved her hands upward, grazing my breasts and causing me to arch against her. My head was a cloudy mess. I couldn't think. Her hands we in my shoulder length blonde hair in a moment. Gently tugging as she deepened the kiss and it became more urgent.
My mind was screaming at me to stop her. To tell her that I didn't want this. But I think my body could tell that it wasn't true. Her lips were so soft and with her chest pressed against mine I could hardly think. My hand went to her chest and I cupped it and massaged it like I was seeing something for the first time. I gently shoved her up and yanked her tank top off almost ripping it. I looked at her bra. Black lace covered her breasts and supported them well enough. She wore a B cup and they were perfect. I looked at her through hooded eyes and slowly reached behind to unhook her bra. It was easy. And her breasts were freed from their holders.
I paused to look at them. Surprised at how much it turned me on just to see them. I looked at her through uncertain eyes and she just looked at me for a long moment. That was permission enough for me. My mouth went to her breast and she moaned. It was this pure moan that came from somewhere deep and her hands entwined in my hair as she urged me to continue. I was out of my league. I took her nipple gently with my teeth and she moaned loudly again. I found myself searching for more moans. It was like a boost of confidence. I moved to the other breast as my hands went to her ass and she began to grind against me. My breathing quickened. I wanted her pants off. I released her nipple and commanded her to take off her pants. I told her I wanted her naked on top of me. I could hardly believe the words that poured out of my mouth. Like I was free to say and do what I like without consequences.
She frowned for a moment and then did as she was told. I shoved her onto her back and hovered above her. Kissing every sweet soft part of her. Her lips. Her neck. Her breasts. Her belly. Her inner thigh. She called out my name. I breathed onto her most private place and she grabbed my hair and urged me to put my mouth on there. I obliged. I let my tongue tease her while my fingers moved in and out. She began to scream out my name and I quickened my pace. Savoring the taste of her. Her body tensed and she let out an enormous yell filled with my name and a bunch of cuss words. I could taste her cum in my mouth. I floated back down to earth and began to wonder what the hell I was doing with Sarah. Did Sarah realize what was going on? Did we just have too much to drink. She pulled me on top of her and kissed me thoroughly.
"Don't do it. I know you are thinking about it. But don't. Just stay here for a second okay. You don't have to question every little thing that happens." She whispered in my ear when she finally pulled away.
All I could think was 'holy shit. I just had sex with a girl, and I liked it. A LOT.'
