The Despair of Writing

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Please, please... don't throw me with your other writings. They have poor health conditions... you must be aware of this. I'm talking about your Star Eaters in Dwarf Galaxy, mister. He generally doesn't wash, you can see his yellowed teeth in his alien smiles. 

Are you aware of how your other stories are behaving in solitary confinement, sir? Ever wondered why Kaurus doesn't talk? Oh well, that's because he has now sworn on the almighty God that he will not talk until he gets published. You might think "Now that's funny!" but it isn't if you are the one sleeping in the same room as him, in fact only a meter away. He always screams in his sleep, "How dare you edit me little bitch?" and then falls back to sleep. I believe, sir, that under your supervision, he was to take his meds at certain times everyday, but blast me if I ever had seen him gulp down a pill! Never. Pardon my illiteracy, but there is a writing issue as well, if I may talk about something so desperately essential for us, but of course of great toil to you. You must be aware that we, the old stories, have occupied this cell-tower for a long time. 

Our only intake in the past few months has been a pathetic, pale and jumpy story which was shaking like a scared rabbit since when he entered the cell. He was very skinny, maybe 1000 words only and not very juicy either. Unfortunately when we prayed on him-- as I said we haven't been receiving much supplies recently from you sir-- he proved insufficient for our entire group and we had to eat a fellow for whom we felt a lot of compassion on top of the new food. Call it all you want, mania or cannibalism, but we had no choice. Perhaps you should be thinking about giving us a daily food, dear sir? What about a 200 word carby poetry-soup every once in a while? We would welcome this with all our might and appetite! I know that receiving harsh criticism has made you more reserved and less prolific recently. I may however venture to assure you, sir, that we would be more than happy for you to write, even the likes of that shivering skinny story, if this offers you any consolation for your sad self-judgmental thoughts. I mean just think about how many lives you could save in cell-tower by a kind 100-word donation! Oh and don't forget to sprinkle on it some salt and pepper; this will not only help you to make more tasty stories, but also help us have a better time in prison. Thank you. Ever your friend, Untitled

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⏰ Last updated: Sep 08, 2019 ⏰

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