My Story

This Is Getting to be Too Much

Wow. Two updates in one day?! The world must be on my side. *claps*

So... the last life update was a few weeks ago. I had a good report last time, but now things are going south.

This week was overall good, except for the fact I broke down two and a half times this week. I think that is a new record for me! Not the best thing to be proud of but oh well.
So the first time was Monday. I was texting a friend like I normally do while cleaning. Backtrack for a moment: I was already pissed off that day so that played a role in my emotional breakdown. My mom comes in and tells me to stop and focus on what I'm doing.

Another random fact about me: I'm not a clean freak but when I organize something, I expect it to stay that way. Especially if the said thing is different sizes and have to fit a certain way.

"How does this result in a breakdown?" you might be asking. I broke down because the person I was talking to is the only person I trust to keep me sane and be there to tell me I'll be okay. By taking away that moment for me really irks me. Also, it adds to the stress and annoyance of people not keeping things a certain way, resulting in my first stress breakdown of the week.

The rest of my week was pretty good. Nothing out of the ordinary happened, but I'm fine with that.

Saturday around midnight was the second cry. I have a younger sibling that was instructed to tidy up the bathroom. This cry ALSO is because of things not in order. They do a good job cleaning, but they forgot to put the cups and cleaners away. I tell the sibling and my parents that the bathroom is not done, but no one does anything about it.

Midnight. I get up to get water and stop by the bathroom just to see if it was corrected. NOPE!
So, that cry was because of 1) things weren't in order and 2) I felt like I wasn't being taken seriously.

The last cry gets a half just because it was like the hangover from the one at midnight. Not really a story behind that one. Sorry (:
I guess now it's time for a life update!
-I have negative/ intrusive thoughts coming back to torture me. Most of these are from like months ago that were already resolved. By now, I do hope you can tell I overthink way too much.
-even though I want to, I haven't cut myself! Another victory won!
-if you can't tell, I have a horrible sleeping schedule. That affects my day and I need to fix it soon.
-it's only been a month and I kinda hate high school. Not that it's really hard, but there's too much pressure put on you so soon( I'm a freshmen btw)
I swear guys these updates will get positive. My mom is looking at therapists for me to sort out all the issues I have. It is the eleven( almost twelve) o'clock hour and I have school tomorrow. I'll sign off here: goodnight guys and sleep well❤️