Curious?

CHAPTER FIVE

      We make it to Shawn's place, and I take off my shoes as I walk in. I start walking around like I've been here before and take a look around, but I don't say a word. Shawn looks at me go.
"Are you looking for something? A dead body, perhaps?"
"Or a bloody axe, we'll see!" I joke back at him.
He chuckles and gestures to the living room.
"Well, when you're done with the inspection, I'll be over here."

      I laugh and I know I should just go join him, but I'm still curious about his place, so I keep walking around. It's not as fancy as I expected, but then again, I expected Shawn to be much different than what he's shown me so far. It's also much cleaner than my apartment would be if someone were to drop by unannounced. I realize I've left Shawn by himself for a bit now, so I end my self-guided tour at the living room and sit on the couch next to him.
"So, did you find anything weird?" Shawn asks me.
"No, you're clean. Or good at hiding the skeletons in your closet," I tease.
"Yeah!" Shawn chuckles.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Don't worry about it," Shawn shakes his head. "So, did you grow up around here, Adam?"
"Not too far, Etobicoke. That's where my parents still live."
"Oh, so not too far! Why did you move to Toronto?"
"For my ex, actually," I reply, not meeting Shawn's gaze.
"Was..." Shawn starts, "Were they from here or?"
      I laugh. Very politically correct, Mendes.
"No, he moved here to get away from his less than accepting parents. And I followed him. I got a job and I started school, it was okay for a while. But turns out living with someone can make you realize really quickly that you're not meant to be. So now I have my own place."
"Oh. I'm sorry to hear that. Has it been a while, or?"
"Or am I on the rebound?" I laugh. "It's been 4 months now. But it was a long time coming before that, so really, I'm fine."
"Okay. Were you guys together a long time?"
"About a year, total. It was my first serious relationship, so it was hard to let go of that. But change comes eventually. It was time to let it go. I grew a lot during that year."
"Wow, I wish I handled breakups like that!" Shawn comments, a surprised look on his face.
      I laugh.
"A lot of tough break ups for the Prince of Pop?"
      His face reddens and he can't hide his embarrassment, even through that smile. He scoffs.
"Well, I made a career of it, literally, so I guess I handle them my own way."
"Speaking of which. What happens when you finally find a girl and settle down? No more music? Maybe it's your label, actively sabotaging your relationships!" I laugh.
"Ah! When I find someone, and it works, I'm sure I'll also channel that into my music. Plus, I think it's time to branch out from the little hurt boy music. I'm very excited for what's coming."
      I smile and nod. Not that I have nothing to say about his music, because I know his albums. But because my trap kind of worked. I purposefully said girl to see his reaction. And then he said someone. A guy that was very careful with pronouns earlier, too. Does that mean anything? Is it bad that I want it to mean something? Emily... Why did she have to put that idea in my head!
"How narcissitic is it if I ask if you listen to my music?" Shawn says, bringing me back.
"Oof! It doesn't look good..." I smile at him, shaking my head.
      We laugh together. A genuine laugh. I love that we're able to do that.
"Wow, I'm sorry, I never offered anything to drink! Can I get you something? A beer, some sparkly water..." Shawn says. "That's pretty much all I have."
"Hey, no worries! Uhm, I'll have what you're having, it's fine."
      Shawn gets up to go grab our beverages from the fridge, and I can't help but stare at his ass in these skinny jeans. Oh no, he's bending over in the fridge... I turn away and look at my phone. I just want to text Emily to ask her why she did this to me when I'm interrupted.
"Wow, I'm that boring?" Shawn teases me.
"No! No, I'm sorry, I was just texting my friend. Letting her know I haven't been murdered by Shawn Mendes," I joke back, hoping this is enough to save it.
"Yet!" he jokes back, handing me a Corona.
      He sits back down, and I feel like we're closer than we were before. I shift in my seat to face him while he rests his back against the couch and our knees touch. Yes, we are closer. I take a sip of the beer, and look at him. He also takes a sip and tries to meet my gaze, but looks away immediately. Okay...

      We keep talking and drinking our beers slowly. It feels a lot more natural than it did at the beginning, and like Shawn is letting his guard down a bit. He's talking about a funny thing that happened with his sister, but all I can do is stare at his lips moving. And his eyes when he looks straight into mine. When did brown eyes become so mesmerizing? He looks down to take the last sip of his beer, and I drink the last sip — okay, it should've been two big gulps — of mine and put the empty bottle on the coffee table. So does Shawn, and as he sits back, we share a look. He looks into my eyes, and smiles, and doesn't say a word. I get that unfamiliar feeling in my stomach again and it convinces me to go for it. I lean forward as I close my eyes...
"Oh, Adam, I-" I heard Shawn say as he turns his face away.
      Fuck. The feeling in my stomach transforms into pure humiliation and embarrassment and before Shawn can say anything else, I'm up.
"Wow. I'm sorry. Wow. Okay. Uhm, I'm gonna go. I have to go," I say as I grab my bomber from the chair I laid it on.
"Wait! No! Don't go, Adam!"
"I have to get out of here." I say, not daring to look Shawn in the face.
I just grab my shoes and go, I can put them on in the elevator. I can't stand one more second in this situation. Fuck!
"Adam! Please!" are the last words I hear Shawn say as I catch a glimpse of him through the elevator doors closing.

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