Lost Child

Fear Brings About Defense

            Growing up I used to hear the same phrases over and over again from the professors that cared for me. "Sorry about them." "Don't talk about your classmate in such a way." "She's a friend, be kind." However, all those statements felt empty to me. There were many times when I felt that the professors were saying things to me because they felt sorry for me. I assumed they did. I never particularly felt a sense of warmth or love in their voice.

Mr. Stroud was the one who cared for me the most. He spent the most time tending to my needs, whether it was to get me clothes, share a meal with me, or tend to any injuries I got from playing around outside. His eyes always seemed strange when he looked at me though. He would smile at me, but it felt...empty? I wasn't sure how to describe it. Mr. Stroud was kind, but his kindness didn't seem natural. It seemed almost like it was an obligation. Like I was his responsibility.

He cared for me and took me on as his responsibility. Each morning, Mr. Stroud would come to my room, knock on the door to make sure I wasn't sleeping and come in to greet me. Today was no different. "Good morning Briar. You're up earlier than usual. Did you sleep well?"

I stared into the mirror as I brushed my snow colored hair. I didn't respond, merely stared and continued the action of getting ready for the day. Mr. Stroud gave a sigh as he crossed his arms. "Is it really necessary to be quiet all the time? Briar..." He shook his head, giving up on pressing the matter of my silence further. "Your classes start later today; Mr. Innis isn't feeling well, so why don't you go try and make friends with the other students while you're at breakfast?"

Friends? With the others that fear me and call me names? Was he being serious? Mr. Stroud, while kind on the surface level, understood nothing about me. I set down my brush, letting my hair fall loose today as I stood up and started making my way towards the door to head to the cafeteria where all my 'friends' awaited me.

Before I could leave though, Mr. Stroud grabbed my wrist and tugged me back. "Wait!" He seemed scared and hesitant as he watched me. His eyes took on a pleading expression, as though begging me not to go out as I was. I glanced down at my appearance. My skirt was on, I had my long black stockings to cover up the strange purple patches of skin on my legs, my button-up white shirt, my red ribbon on my neck. Everything seemed- Mr. Stroud coughed and gestured to my head and my arms. "I'm sorry, but people don't understand you...you scare them. N-Not that you're bad, it's just-"

I jerked my arm away. Right. I was scary to look at. I was a monster to other children, other people. I walked calmly past him going to my closet to pull out my long, deep green hoodie. I pulled the sleeves over my arms that had more deep purple blotches on them and zipped it up past my neck where another blob of purple was creeping up like a vine. Lastly, I pulled the hood up over my horns, adjusting it so that my hair still looked nice.

Once the hood was up, which to me seemed pointless because my horns still showed through the hood, Mr. Stroud clapped his hands together and nodded. "That's better. Go enjoy your breakfast and have a good day. Practice well, Briar."

I gave a curt nod as I once again passed Mr. Stroud, making my way down to the cafeteria where the other students were enjoying breakfast. There was plenty of noise coming from the room. Students talking to each other in loud voices. Everyone seemed to have someone to talk to. However, when I entered the room, things hushed for a moment as they all watched me. I went to the counter to grab some morning scones and a glass of milk, making my way to a vacant area where others couldn't bother me or be bothered by me. A seat on the floor propped against a wall seemed to be the only option. I sat. I minded my own business. Attempting to bother no one. The chatter of my peers continued as I ate my scones and sipped on my milk, both hands holding the glass.

It gets lonely like this. I was used to it though. Some students would address me, as professors had told them to be kind to me, but I knew they had no real feeling behind the action of waving at me. So, I never waved back in return. They were afraid of me. When I was younger, I didn't understand why, so I tried to explain to them that I wasn't mean or a bad monster or anything...no one listened to me. I gave up trying.

I ate in silence, staring out into the gaggle of my peers who were talking, laughing, joking. It seemed nice. That was until my view was blocked by another student. "Don't you think you're sitting a bit too close to the rest of us, Freak?"

I glanced up at him, uncertain what he meant. I had picked a spot pretty far from others on purpose. He scoffed. "Everyone knows that you don't like the food here, you're just here to pick your next meal and victim."

I tensed and glared. I was going to do no such thing. I attempted to stand up quickly, but he was faster than me as he kicked me back to the ground and held his dirty shoe against my chest, holding me in place. "Everyone's scared of you. Even being in the same room as you. Shouldn't you be locked away? Why did the professors let you out?" He looked around. "Do they even know you're out?"

I struggled to stand as I continued to glare at him. "Stop." Was the only word I spoke.

He put a hand to his ear. "What was that? 'Stop?' Why? You scare the others, but I'm not afraid of a monster like you." He stared at me for a moment before a twisted smirk came over his face. He looked over at one of his nearby friends. "The hood seems to be covering her horns. You guys hold her down by those while I go get some chains and we can lock the monster back up."

Two of his friends approached me and quickly flung my hood off my head, messing my hair up and each grabbing one of my horns, pushing down hard. My head tilted back, hurting my neck as I struggled against them. They were stronger than me. I flailed and thrashed, trying to escape their grip while other students started to gather around. I could hear them whispering. "Look, the Monster must have done something again." "It looks so creepy." "The professors really shouldn't let It out...It's not even that good at magic."

I attempted to ignore their words as I thrashed, trying hard to think of spells that would set me free. I started mumbling softly in the hopes that any spell I chanted would work before the other kid came back with chains to bind me. Ensnare me. Ensnare...

The words came flooding from me. Though I had never heard the chant or incantation, they seemed natural, as though they were a part of me. "Nettles in the shadows, a wheel of hollies..." As I spoke hot pain ran through my body. Every inch of me felt like it was on fire as I spoke. I could hear the scream of my classmates and felt the release of my horns as I stumbled forward. My body seemed to move on its own as I stamped my foot down. At that moment, everything seemed blurry. I saw nettles, briars, and thorns shoot out from around me as though coming from inside of me. I screamed out in pain, but my scream only seemed to make the thorny vines lash out at the students.

I heard more voices and shouting as students ran away from me yelling monster as they fled. I continued to scream, but my screaming soon became crying as the pain got to me. Crouching down, I shakily put my hands to my ears, trying to block the sounds that were around me. The cries, the fear, the torment, the hatred. My hands felt prickly and sharp against my body, but I didn't care. At least it meant I could still feel.

I didn't stay like that for long though, as several hands grabbed at me. I moved to pull away from them in a struggling manner. Panic and anger the only emotions inside me. I thrashed as best I could until I heard a voice shout. "Sedate her!" Then...everything became empty and numb.