One Step Closer (A Lesbian Julerose Fanfiction)

"Best Friend"

That's all I am to her.  I'm her best friend.  I doubt I have any chance of becoming more than that when she doesn't seem to show any interest in me, let alone my gender.  Such a precious bouquet shouldn't be packaged with such damaged goods, anyway.  Maybe that's just how it's meant to be for us.

I've tried to find the right time to tell her. You'd think it wouldn't be too hard, spending virtually every hour of the day with her.  Alas, here I am. Lovesick, and loveless. Poor, sweet, Rose.  She always feels alone and like nobody will love her, or at least not quite how she dreams.

I've lost count of how many times I've dreamed of kissing her mouth shut everytime she says that.

I would do anything for her, anything. I'd treat her like a queen, bring some music to her ears. But she doesn't seem interested in receiving such treatment from someone like me.

oOo

I was staring at her, again.

"Juleka, is everything okay?" She asked, with genuine concern in those beautiful blue eyes.

"Oh, um, sorry, yeah, everything is great." I replied.

"Aw, you look really bummed. Hey, how about after class, we head over to the park? We can talk about what's on your mind then in private. Okay?" She suggested excitededly.

I giggled. "Okay, sounds good. But the bell is about to ring, let's get our stuff together so we're ready to go."

oOo

Finally, out of class. Naturally, Rose hugged my arm and was leaning her head on my shoulder as we walked away from the building and toward the park. Unfortunately, Lila stopped us dead in out tracks.

"Well if it isn't the idiot lesbians." She scoffed.

"Listen, Lila. We aren't a couple, and we don't have time for your discrimination. Just buzz off." Rose countered.

"Oh, what was that? You guys slept together last weekend??" Lila exclaimed, loud enough for anyone to hear.

"You lying bitch..." I muttered.

And we ran off.

oOo

We finally made it to the park, and I looked over to see Rose had tears in her eyes. I sat down on the grass and invited her into my lap, resting my head on her shoulder and wrapping my arms around her.

"Don't let it get to you," I said. "You know she's lying. There is nothing wrong with you, us, or our friendship. Everything is just fine, Rose."

She sniffled. "I know, it's just... I feel bad for feeling bad about it. I know everything is fine, but you've seemed so down lately, and I've had so much on my mind, and-and I know things are hard for you so I shouldn't be upset and I hate that I'm so sensitive but I don't want you to pity me because it's not a big deal!" She choked out, tears flowing down her delicate face.

"Oh, Rose. It's important to me. If something is bothering you, you can talk to me about it. Anything at all. I'm here. And nothing is up with me right now, I swear. I'm fine." I replied, kissing her cheek and playing with her hair. She turned around so her legs were hanging off into the grass on the side of my thigh, and she cuddled her head into my collar. We stayed there for hours, chatting and cuddling, until it was dark. I texted Luka and told him that I'd be staying with Rose that night.

oOo

We made it to the front door, which was already open. Rose's mom was inside baking cookies, and looked over smiling when we walked in.

"It's a bit late, isn't it girls?" She said.

"Sorry to keep her out so late," I replied, kissing her on the cheek before I put my bag down on the kitchen table. Rose's mom is like another mom to me.  Her house feels more like home to me than my house ever could.

"I'll forgive you this time, but next time you may not be so lucky." She tried to be serious, and held up the spoon she was using to mix the cookie dough right in front of my face. She was barely able to contain her laughter until I licked the spoon, and she let out her loud, belty laugh.  I think Lillian even snorted before she kept mixing the dough.  It was such a homey sound that I didn't get to hear often at home.

Rose rubbed her eyes. She wasn't one to stay up late unless I kept her up. She said she would head off to bed after we had cookies, and I knew I'd be chatting with Lillian after she went to sleep. As usual. But tonight was different.

oOo

Rose was asleep, and me and Lillian snuggled up on the couch watching Home and Garden TV while munching on the now cold cookies. She suddenly paused the TV, changed her position so she was facing me, and said "I need to talk to you about something."

I tilted my head curiously, but I complied and fixed my position as well, criss crossing my legs while I looked her in the eyes.

"This is something I haven't mentioned and don't yet have an intention of mentioning to Rose, so let's just keep this between us. Okay?"

I was a little confused, but I nodded.

"Ever since I was nineteen, I have been attracted to everyone. Guys, girls, and everything in between. I identify as pansexual," She started.

My mouth gaped a bit, I had no idea.

"I am only telling you this because I know the way I've looked at a girl I love before, and I see how you look at my Rose. I'm not mad, I promise." She continued.

I gulped, eyes widening at her true accusation.

"Now, listen to me. Rose has been with many guys, you know how boy crazy she is. As a mother, of course I get concerned. But she's never really happy. The excitement always fades. Either that or they break her heart, I'm sure you know." She said.

I nodded, easing into the conversation a bit.

"I have a feeling that eventually she will open her mind a bit more, most likely to you. I obviously can't make any promises, but I know my daughter and I just have a feeling. And I know you. And I trust you. I am not saying I dissaprove. Of anything you may take interest in with her, I am not saying I am against it. I know you kids are getting older every day, and I know what will happen is inevitable and it is part of life. But I just want you to know that if she finally commits to you, don't change. I can see how much she absolutely adores you. And change scares her. All I ask is that you love her like you normally would, if not more. Can you promise me that?" She asked, sincerity in her eyes.

"Absolutely, I promise." I stated, shocked but truthful.

"Oh, I hope she sees what's sitting right in front of her." Lillian said, as she wrapped her arm around me and cuddled me close. "It's late, you should head off to bed. And if you ever need to talk about anything that you can't really talk to Rose about, if you understand what I mean, I'm absolutely here for you." She said.

"You're incredible..." I whispered, a tear rolling down my cheek. "Thank you..."

She giggled. "Get some sleep, kid. I'm making pancakes in the morning!"

I rushed off to join Rose in her room, and I swear I saw her move a bit when I walked in the door.

oOo

That concludes this chapter, hope whoever reads this enjoyed it. A new one will be out eventually whether anyone reads it or not, so stay tuned for that! Please give me as much feedback as possible as far as where you'd like the story to go, what parts you enjoy, suggestions/corrections, and I'd love to see your opinion at the end of every chapter so I can communicate with my readers! I would also appreciate an honest rating on my story :)

I will put a similar message at the end of every chapter. See ya in the next one!