The Light of My life (ShoutaAizawaxReader) (HIATUS)

Part 1 The Beginning

"I hope you learned your lesson"

I woke up, back to wall. They didn't even bother picking me up and putting me to bed. I groan as I stand up.

"You're finally FUCKING awake!" My father's raspy voice echoed through the thin walls. It sounded like he's been drinking again.

I didn't say anything. Instead I slumped up to my room with my bruised leg.

I lay down on my bed staring at the ceiling like what I always do. I held back tears. I couldn't help it. I looked around my room. There were blood stains, dents, and holes on the walls.

My attention draws to the nightstand next to my bed. I look down. A drawer. I open it and see a small blade. A razor blade to be exact. I sit up and picked up the blade. A small sparkle blinded my vision. I was tempted. No. This was wrong. I... can't give in like this. I shouldn't resort to this. Please. No more. It's so addicting. I can't stop it.

It feels so good it hurts.

I pulled up my sleeve seeing the previous cuts I had. Dried up blood. I took the blade and pressed it against my aching arm. The first drop of liquid red released itself from my cold skin. And another. And another. Until blood cried down the hardwood floor. It gave me a strange sense of euphoria. It made me happy.

I made a few more cuts.
Cool.

I put the blade back into the drawer.

I didn't wanna leave my room. I wanna lock myself in here forever. That was one of the many wishes I've made. It's childish but wishes are my only hope. If I don't go down there myself, they would throw me down themselves.

I cautiously walked down the stairs, seeing my father slouching on the worn-out couch, a couple of glass bottles scattered everywhere. Some were even broken. The TV just played some random channel I didn't care enough about. I looked to the other side of the room, eyeing my mother. I don't wanna go near that woman.

"You wanted me, mother?" I quivered as fear traveled through my voice.

"Never did. Never will. Just wash the dishes and leave. It's disgusting how you're that stupid enough to not know simple manners."

Once again, not a single word left my mouth. I walked away. Into the kitchen. To wash the fucking dishes.

An argument started. Between them. Only the running water flooded the screaming away.

I picked up a dirty plate, scrubbing it with my hands. One. Two. Three. I placed it down. One. Two. Three. I grabbed another. One. Two. Three. The yelling only got worse no matter how much I distract myself. I don't wanna live like this. Their screaming and yelling rang. It rang so much that I felt streams drip down my face. I couldn't stand it anymore. I fell to the ground  — the sound of glass breaking entered my senses. I knelt. I...

"YOU LITTLE SHIT! THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!?!" I heard my father to the left of me. "CLEAN THAT SHIT RIGHT NOW! FUCKING FAILURE! CAN'T EVEN WASH THE DISHES CORRECTLY!"

Stop. Stop it. Don't you see? No. I've had enough.

I jerked my head over to a drawer. Opening it I spotted knives. It's beautiful. I stuffed my hand into the drawer — shuffling for a knife. Grabbing a cold metal handle. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. YES. My mind was blank. Nothing. My body was doing it all. It was in a raging state. I didn't know what I was doing, but it felt amazing.

I stood up. Blood dripping down my whole body. I felt reborn. I felt so great. It was funny. Funny how it was only this time I tried. Wow! I should have done this sooner! Before I knew it, I was laughing uncontrollably.

I took my free hand and pressed it up against my head, god I was so happy. So happy that I couldn't stop. I felt free. Until a glimpse of sparkle at the corner of my eye. I stopped, and turned around. It was my mother, gunpoint. The pistol in her hand wouldn't hold still. The look in her eyes said it all. It's my turn.

Without a second thought, I ran towards her, the knife gripped. She screamed, shooting rapidly at me. A bullet ripped through my leg as I hissed, but continued. Another in my shoulder, but continued. The last one missed. Those three shots were heard but following that was some clicks. She backed a bit and threw the gun at me, landing right in front of me. I jump on her, and a sudden familiar feeling I felt soon before, found its way back. Adrenaline flowed through me. Laughing echoed through the cold dead house.

-

I ran and ran without thinking. Static in my mind. I didn't even know where I was going. My feet were just moving on their own.

All of a sudden, I fell backwards. I look up a little. I had bumped into someone. He had black shoulder-length hair and a white long scarf dangling from his body. He was on the ground, holding his hand up to his head, groaning. When he looked up, we exchange looks.
Shit, I hope he didn't see me crying.

STILL EDITING STILL AHHHS DHGVJBKFHV IF UR READING THIS UHH BEEN A WHILEEE ahah ahhhh