"Happy" girl

Episode 1

The happiest people have deepest scars. I wish things didn't happen like this. This was such bad luck to me and to my family that I just want to press the restart button to have a fresh start like knowing none of this would happen. You had the happy pathway-based from what you tell to our friends which they talk about how your doing well and how you post things on social media (and I know social media is what people see on a screen, not really from the inside of a person's life) And for me, I got the pathway where there is no good left to me, where it's only me and mom doing hard work. It hurts me every day that knowing I lost so many people that I love and trust that went away like a feather of dust. At this point in my life, every single day I just want to scream of anger, the feeling of breaking so much breakable glasses, wanting to hammer the wall, and while I'm doing all of these actions my tears began to pour out. The feeling of a bomb ticking and until the time is up it explodes, that's the feeling I feeling every day at home and at school. Especially at school, when I walk passing periods and every time when the class ends in which a sweet like black angle comes up to me and asked, "Are you feeling ok?". I want to tell him everything how I'm feeling throughout how I've been but and what's been going on, but no I can't. I wish I can but its the most fucked up thing that I don't want that sweet like black angle to think of me the wrong way, never understand, and (something I've been insecure throughout my life) how the angle will tell our other homies. But something I learned and still am, The happiest people have deepest scars. Like what Ted Mosby said, "Sometimes... things have to fall apart to make way for better things." But I don't think I'm even halfway or close enough of having better things...