Now & Forever

Chapter 1 The News

"You have cancer" 

"You have cancer"

"Cancer"

That phrase kept echoing in Becky's head over and over as she drove home from the hospital that day. She had only gone to the doctor because her stomach hurt from time to time. Never in a million years was she expecting.

"You have cancer."

She thought it was odd that her doctor wanted her to come into the office for her results. The past couple of blood tests she had heard the results over the phone, even after the CAT scan the technician had called to tell her the results. But she swallowed her anxiety and told herself that it was only a follow-up appointment and it had to be done in person. When her doctor walked it she could tell something was wrong he looked pale and he didn't offer the same smile he usually would.

"Hi, Becky how are you today?"

"Just fine, you?"

"I'm doing okay today" He took a deep breath and sat down at the table beside her "I'm sure you're wondering why you're here today."

Becky let out a shaky sigh "Yeah, I am."

He was quiet for a minute "Your CAT scan showed that the lymph nodes in your abdomen were inflamed and swollen, as I'm sure you're aware this can mean many things. An infection, an irritation many things."

"Okay?" Becky questioned confused

He took another deep breath "That mixed with your latest blood tests and your presenting symptoms when you first came to me and then with the biopsy results I received. Unfortunately, Becky, you have what is called large cell B Lymphoma."

Becky felt her blood turn into ice as she shakily replied: "What does that mean?"

"You have cancer."

Becky was drawn out of her reprieve when she reached her apartment building. She took a moment to wipe the tear stains from her face before she made her way to the third floor of the building. Taking a deep breath she opened the door and walked in.

"Best Friend!"

Steve.

Her roommate.

Her best friend.

She had almost forgotten that he was home today. He had stayed up with her last night trying to convince her that everything was going to be okay and she had nothing to worry about. What was she going to tell him? How would he react? Wouldn't he treat her differently? She didn't want that. She didn't want that at all, they had only just gotten to a good place in the apartment, a good place with each other. She didn't want him to start treating her like an invalid like she was fragile. Most of all she didn't want him to know that she only had two years left to live. It would destroy him.

"Hey?" Steve questioned looking worriedly at her "Everything okay?"

"Oh! Yeah everything is fine don't worry about it"

He smiled wide "Good I'm glad to hear that."

"Can I still have a hug?"

"Yeah sure."

His cigarette smell filled her lungs. After they had moved in she found it oddly soothing and comforting. It was his smell. It took everything in her power not to break down and cry at that moment. Not only did she not tell him she lied to him as well, but she couldn't do it at least not yet.

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The rest of that day she was tense and could barely do anything besides mope around the small apartment. Thankfully Steve had gone to run an errand shortly after she came home so she didn't have to worry about him for the time being. She finally settled on watching Netflix and cuddling a pillow on the couch till Steve got home. 

When he finally did it was night time and after they ate Steve wanted her to watch a new movie as usual. He was always finding movies for her to watch, and surprisingly he almost always picked movies that were fairly good and that she enjoyed. Tonight's movie was one that Steve could not stop talking about.

"You'll love this one I was crying all last night while you were sleeping!"

"Oh and that's supposed to mean its good?" Becky chuckled

"Yes! it means it's very emotional and good so you'll cry too" he said

"You want me to cry?" She replied offended

"That's not what I meant!"

"Oh, suuure Steve" she teased

He smiled "Let's just watch the movie"

"Sounds good to me"

The movie was good as it was heartbreaking Becky thought. Steve had been right too, she cried during the whole movie. When the movie was nearing the end and the main character was saying her goodbyes, Becky couldn't handle it anymore.

"I can't watch this anymore," She said in a watery voice

Steve much the same voice replied "Same, it's almost over."

"I'm serious I can't watch this anymore" She stated and walking into the bedroom.

"Becky? You oka-" Steve started worried

She didn't hear the rest all she could see was herself in that movie was her laying in that bed watching Steve and everyone else she cared about crying and saying goodbye to her. It tore her apart and she didn't want that to be her future.

"Becky?"

She looked up from the pillow she was sobbing in to see Steve with a worried expression on his face.

"Hey hey, what's wrong?"

She shook her head telling him she didn't want to talk.

"I'm sorry Becky I didn't think it would mess you up this bad"

You're right she thought it usually wouldn't.

He looked at her for a little bit longer and wrapped her up into a big hug. Becky just sobbed and sobbed till she was out of tears. Thankfully Steve didn't seem to mind. He slowly rubbed her back and softly whispered "everything will be okay"

Becky didn't know how long they were like that until she drifted off to sleep. All she knew was that she never wanted to be without her best friend. She never wanted to be apart from Steve.