ghost of my past : october 31, 2018

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my face begins to hurt from smiling when i think about that night sky full of stars.
seeing you on a miniature screen, i never experience a distance between us.
you always manage to light me up inside, you feel like sunshine.
you radiate happiness, i'm on cloud nine.
who am i without you? or at least, who was i?
i wonder what could be different.
so many questions i don't want to know the answer to.
i would still be the one with big dreams but no motivation.
you make me want to desire more by saying i'm enough.
gaining hope with infinitely positive energy.
i won't give up, there's too much life to succeed.
all the doubts are fading away into the background.
right in front of me is everything i could ever need.
i'm sorry there's still fear left inside.
there are parts i'm not sure will ever heal.
please just promise me you'll stick around for all of it.
i've been disappointed by the ones i trust too often.
they get overwhelmed and decide to leave.
i can tell your care runs deep.
looking into your eyes is the most calming melody.
stay here with me, being in your arms is what i've been wishing.
i've always searched for others to grip onto.
i swear this time i won't make you my only life source, i'm not like that anymore.
laying down on the grass and sharing our similar stories.
the nature around us is a reminder of how simple things can be.
let go, but don't forget how they treated you.
one day they'll come back and realize what they missed.
they can't hurt you now, you know all the manipulative tricks.
it's up to you to forgive, and that's only your decision.

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