I don't know how to start this off and honestly just want to get to the point. I don't love you like I loved you last year. You still act like I'm not there. I dont look at you with loving eyes, I look at you with bland ones. I might not show this to you but I will show my best friend, Autumn. The only reason I'm showing her is because of her kindness. I can already see her hugging me and saying I dont need you. And maybe she is right. But for now. I'll turn on my sad music and sit on my bed and write this.
I'm going to start with a thank you. Thank you for opening my eyes to the grim reality of this world. We all can't get what we want. Last year I needed you but now you're not even a want. Thinking about you doesn't hurt. When my best friend makes you smile, the first thing I think is, 'why couldn't I have done that? Why could of I been friends with you then tell you I love you?' It hurt so much when you said you wouldn't date me for the reason I hated myself, something I can't stand, something that makes me depressed and make everyone hate me and no one supporting me. Me being transgender.
I blamed myself for me being trans when it's not even my fault. I cried. A lot. More than I've ever had over a girl. All me girls I like, leave me. That's the mindset I have now, I love the person km dating but, of course, my thoughts want to make me believe she doesn't love me.
I still want to be your friend. We dont have to sit together at lunch. I just want a hello when we walk by each other. I dont think I can get that want because I feel like you dont care about me. But dont feel guilty. My life has a happy ending :)
- the person who don't really know, Aik
