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today's the day. the day i start college. or i guess the day i move to college. i had been living with my older brother in new york for the last few years and felt pretty ready to live without the sound of him and his boyfriend. let's just say the sound of handcuffs, moaning and skin slapping together does as good of a job traveling through a small apartment as it does not leaving much up to imagination.

i had gotten a scholarship for a digital art/coding college and i couldn't be happier. i felt like all those years in school i spent mostly drawing and all those times i didn't make friends because i was busy playing or creating shitty video games finally paid off. everyone always told me i'd find people like me, nerds, as i grew older, and i honestly thought it'd happen when i moved to new york for high school. but it didn't. i was still lonely. i was finally going to be surrounded by people like me, probably with similar experiences. i could not be more hyped.

we pulled up by the big, white and blue building. everywhere were families and nervous students. some parents were crying, many younger siblings running around, everyone were carrying boxes and hugging and going somewhere.

"you okay?" Billy, my brother's boyfriend, asked. i was obviously nervous and kind of reluctant to open the door to my brothers broke down van.

"sure." i took a deep breath and read the "first day on campus (on-campus living)" paper one last time.

report to your assigned desk: 2. you will then recieve your timetable, room number, a map of  campus and directions.

as i stepped out of the van my brother came up behind me, he hugged me, tightly. as i turned around i noticed he seemed kind of choked up.

"heh, you gonna miss me?"

"don't say that!" he said half laughing, half crying.

we made our way towards the main building, following little orange signs. the lines for the three set up desks were pretty long. Fred, my brother, hugged me a lot. we stood behind a tall girl with long, curly, red dyed hair. she was there with her dad who hugged her in that dad-kinda way.

"your full name and id, please?" a blond woman in her 50's asked as she grabbed a map.

"Alexander Berger" she paused and gave me a quick look. i was pretty used to getting that reaction whenever i spoke as i hadn't made the effort to get rid of my london accent. she grabbed my drivers licence out of my hand, found the right files in the giant pile on her desk, checked a few things and gave me a few papers with my name on them. one was my timetable, one was some information about the classes and teachers, one was my room number and one was about how the college handles students with special needs and medication. my "special needs" were just my mental health. or rather lack of thereof.  she handed me my drivers licence back and pointed us in the direction of a smaller, seemingly newer building on the other side of campus.

"what's your room number then?"

"43, shared with... two people...? Charles and Connor."

"nice."

we all walked in silence over to the van, we got the few boxes of clothes, skateboards and computer stuff i had brought and started heading towards the building.

"you nervous at all?" Bill was the one to break the silence.

"yeah of course. my heart is beating in my head i'm just really good at hiding it."

"you'll be fine. you're awesome okay?" of course Fred would take on the part of trying to build my confidence. i just gave him an amused look.

as we entered the building and made our way through the crowded halls it became apparent just how nerdy this school was. most of the new students were wearing button-ups and t-shirts, baggy jeans and were either in the middle of setting up their computers or awkwardly looking around while their moms hugged and kissed them. the rest of the students, the art students, were all dressed uniqely. there were a few goths, some hipsters, and the just completely spaced ones. everyone was taller than me.

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⏰ Last updated: Sep 19, 2019 ⏰

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